Charles Bronson

Arguably the manliest man of the twentieth century. Born Charles Dennis Buchinsky to Lithuanian immigrants, Badass Mutha Charlie Bronson was one of fifteen children. He grew up in poverty in a mining community in Pennsylvania, mining coal to help support his family after his father died when he was 10; he earned $1 for each ton he mined. He was so poor that he had to wear his sister's clothes to school one time, but like a real man, he didn't cry about it, and all that did was piss him off more, so Charles started taking even more dangerous jobs to make more money to help his family. In 1943, he joined the U.S. Army Air Corps as a tailgunner and probably had like a million confirmed kills. After World War II, Bronson decided to pursue acting so he could make lots of money, making some of the all-time manliest films such as The Great Escape, The Dirty Dozen, and Once Upon a Time in the West. He also spanked some kids for talking shit about their parents in The Magnificent Seven, something which probably makes those people who think spanking is "wrong" get all their panties in a wad. In 1953, he changed his name to Bronson because that ass Joseph McCarthy was blacklisting everybody with Slavic last names. While on the set of The Great Escape, Bronson told actor David McCallum: "I'm going to marry your wife." Then he married McCallum's wife two years later. Bronson did many other awesome things in his life until his death in 2003. Frankly, you are no match for the manliness that was Badass Mutha Charlie Bronson.

Charles Bronson makes everyone else look gay by comparison.

by Paco Belmondo August 30, 2008

Dirty Bronson

The act of releasing fecal matter from the anus into a gym sock and beating a defenceless person with it.

Ross: So did you and Cath have a fight Dan?
Dan: Yeah, I beat her with my tube sock.
Ross: Oh the old Dirty Bronson!

by Daniel Lawless November 15, 2006

bronstonism

A holy religion where remy the rat is god (also known as the rat from the hit show ratatouille) in the religion bronstonism you must marry someone with the taken name of bronston, if you do not you will be an outlaw and should go die. If your name is Megan or Katie or molly you CAN NOT JOIN BRONSTONISM. Anyways join to be accepted you must say the holy prayer 🙏🏻

“Remy the ratatouille the rat of all our dreams, we praise you oh holy rat may the world remember your name . BRONSTON”

I LOVE BRONSTONISM ITS SOOO GOOD YOU SHOULD JOIN NOW

by IM GOD AHHAHAH BERRY MUCH POG November 24, 2020

Charles Bronsoned

The act of getting owned hardcore. Very hardcore.

Dude: "I warned you!"
Charles Bronson shoots a grenade at Dude, blowing him up.

Bystander 1: "Dude, did you see that guy?"
Bystander 2: "No, what happened?"
Bystander 1: "Fuckin'...he got CHARLES BRONSONED!"

by H.G. Pennypacker May 20, 2008

Charlie Bronson's

A slang term derived from England's most famous prisoner's stage name "Charlie Bronson" used to describe extraordinary traps, a muscle group connecting the shoulder and neck, or a workout done to enlarge the traps. May be shorted to Bronson's for a more eloquent phonetic sound.

Noun: Did you see Brian Urlacher's Charlie Bronson's! he could really hurt someone with those!!
Verb: Dude, I dominated my Bronson's in the gym today.

by new york trash November 6, 2009

Bronson's Hyper Reviews

A homeless guy that plays Fortnite on Youtube for a living.

Me: Your such a Bronson's Hyper Reviews!

by CrystalRex November 29, 2018

Charlie Bronson Wannabe

Someone who has watched a lot Charlie Bronson movies and bases everything they do in real life off of them. Symptoms include carrying around 30 pounds of rope and trying to climb through an air-vent. Often one and the same with Boondockians - people who are obsessed with The Boondock Saints.

Oh, fuck you! I'm not the rope-totin' Charlie Bronson Wannabe that's getting us fucking lost! ~ Murphy McManus (The Boondock Saints)

by Browncoat2002 July 9, 2010