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wet wipe

Ellie: Madonna is such a wet wipe
Yasmin: I know right
by stalkyasmin June 11, 2013
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wet wipes

Made by the Kimberly-Clark Corporation, a health and hygiene company. Made popular by Cam'ron's song "Wet Wipes" off of "Killa Season". Apparently their stock has rocketed since the rapper's song gained recognition.

Implied for the use of cowardly people, or "pussies".
Also, for the females to clean themselves. I assume if they stank.
Let my muscles show, cause I'm like Russell Crowe
Beautiful mind, took his bitch, hustle hoe
That was her boo, yes sir true
But I collect the chicken, call me Purdue
His ex wife, a new sex life
But ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-check it, go get ya wet wipes
by Saty May 18, 2006
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Wet Wipe

Normally used to describe a lad who thinks he’s all that but isn’t even half of that. Can typically be found frequenting the same sports bars, in the same outfit, drinking the same pink gin and lemonade. Spends his spare time flirting with girls way out of his league, relaxing on the sun bed and saying he’s going to the gym when he’s actually taking it slow in the steam room.
A: oh my god I have a date with Matt Burnett this weekend
B: what?! No, girl, you can’t. He’s SUCH a wet wipe
by B Caitlin July 9, 2019
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Kirkland wet wipe

When you have a massive swamp ass, on a really hot day, then wipe it on the nose of a sleeping friend.
Josh fell asleep on the couch, party foul. I'm gonna give him a Kirkland wet wipe.
by Hufrtd August 8, 2015
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Texas Wet Wipe

Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.

A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.

The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.
by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
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Texas Wet Wipe

Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.

A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.

The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.
After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.
by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020
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Wet Wipe

The act of ejaculating into your hands after masturbating and then proceeding to wipe your face in a forgetful manner. Resulting in your own ejaculation being smeared on your own face.
Boy: Awww that was a good wank...... OH SHIT I JUST WET WIPED MYSELF!
by EchidnaBeard May 26, 2016
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