Tortoise

An armored reptile, usually equipped with missile launchers which they hide under their shell. Highly underestimated, tortoises hide underground in small clumps, training for the day they unite and take over the world. They infiltrate human bases by appearing cute and posing as pets.

Not to be mistaken for turtles.

Fear me. And fear the tortoise.

by I💗Hypixel May 18, 2016

tortoise head

The name applied to poo that comes out just to say hello particularly in a manner that is unexpected and unwarranted. Ususally happens if you try holding it in for too long.

Damn, I have a tortoise head and I think its touching cloth. Think I better go snap one off before I shit my pants.

by Coinage August 20, 2006

tortoiseshell calico cat

Fairly cute cats but can be assholes. Usually act nice when they know you better

"dude I got a tortoiseshell Calico cat"
"Be careful, it might scratch or bite you"

by Master bay shan July 10, 2021

hairy tortoise

one of the many terms given to a woman's reproductive parts

I won't tell You that I love You, kiss or hug You, coz I'm bluffin' with my hairy tortoise

by Commander Rik January 25, 2011

Tasty Tortoise

When a man is on his back with legs in the air and a woman is eating his ass while he jerks off

Dude that girl is a freak, she did the tasty tortoise on me and that shit was dope.

by El Camino Sandman July 22, 2018

tortoise camrhyne

One of the best players of Graalonline and City of Heroes. Often kills his opponents in a pimped or raped fashion to demonstrate just how good he really is or can be. Enjoys thourough provocation and flaming both before and after battles.

Wow, he beat the shit out of the other guy Tortoise Camrhyne style.

by GODDESS MARISSA April 23, 2005

dumper tortoise

a dumper tortoise is a name for a real turd of a person
can be used all the time because no one knows it so it seems like a clever comeback

person a: Good Charlotte is awesome cockboy
person b: shut the fuck up dumper tortoise

by The Great El Sahey September 19, 2006