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protect the children

It is a philosophy conservatives and assorted soccer moms came up with to destroy everything a kid might find fun. It is based on the idea that if people coddle their kids from doing anything that even could have the slightest potential for harming the kid it should be outlawed.

How do the "protect the children" crazies work? well it starts with some dumbass that gets hurt or raped or sees porn, or is even just playing a game or music and someone sees it and rats or gets hurt. The soccer mom parent sues with the claim "because my boy was so stupid to get himself hurt all must suffer" and bam it is outlawed. They also tend to think pedophiles are behind every rock, tree and bush and will do whatever it takes to keep kids inside a vacuum or bubble.
no more swing-sets to take kids on? No more good kids television shows? No more fun animated violence in video games/movies? good cooking utensils? Safety scissors? dressing up in full military armor to just go rollerskating. The list goes on and on!

Me: why is your son fat
soccermom: He is safe from all things that could hurt him, we just keep him inside all day long, so he is devoid of all physical activity therefore he is big boned! You don't happen to be a pedophile? do you?
Me: *runs for my life* thinking "those protect the children nuts are sure raising some lifeless kids alright."
by wateriestfire September 25, 2006
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Defecting The Children

used after one has had a skateboard, bicycle or rail smash into ones testicals, causing great amounts of pain, in some cases vomiting and even "broken balls disorder"
"Mark really Defected his children on that missed double peg"
"My brother defected the children after he tried a gardflip over a rail we spent 4 fucking hours in the hostipal"
by Torrance Dodge September 4, 2005
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Disease of the children

Famous tiktoker named Luis.Stan. Makes tiktoks about food and he is flexing his money.He is famous for saying "ce draci aveti pe voi!" which means something like you have demons inside your head. Overall great man and tiktoker + his facial gestures are awsome.
Godamn you are such a disease of the children!
by PateuDeGasca February 6, 2021
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Fuck the children

Changing babies and toddlers with proper consideration for cleaning services
I'm not sure how to fuck the children but my wife doesn't require any tape.
by Cody5050 January 27, 2022
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Think of the children

The meaning of the phrase originaly was against child labor,until now where it got reduced to a logical fallacy
and a catchtphrase for entitled moms and dads everywhere
Karen says "Cancel adult swim,its too scary for my 2 year old Tommy!"

Darryl says "Think of the children!
by JohnnyB.Emo September 3, 2021
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I'll play like the children are little bugs in mah web.

One of the funniest lines in any movie.
From wordFamily Guy/word
by larstait October 16, 2003
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Gas the Children

The act of passing gas (farting) on a mans ball sack in attempts to lower the intelligence of the future offspring.
"Man, Shenia Gassed the Children so good last night, I think my sperm is retarded!"
"Careful of the one who knows just how to Gas the Children, those ones are the dangerous ones!"
by Canyousayfun July 23, 2018
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