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According to Kurt Vonnegut, a twerp is a guy who:
(1) sticks a set of false teeth up his butt and bites the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (Not to be confused with a "snarf");
(2) hasn't read either Ambrose Bierce's "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" or Alexis de Tocqueville's "Democracy in America".
(1) sticks a set of false teeth up his butt and bites the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (Not to be confused with a "snarf");
(2) hasn't read either Ambrose Bierce's "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" or Alexis de Tocqueville's "Democracy in America".
"Do you know what a twerp is? When I was in Shortridge High School in Indianapolis 65 years ago, a twerp was a guy who stuck a set of false teeth up his butt and bit the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (And a snarf was a guy who sniffed the seats of girls' bicycles.)
"And I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read the greatest American short story, which is "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge", by Ambrose Bierce. . . . It is a flawless example of American genius, like "Sophisticated Lady" by Duke Ellington or the Franklin stove.
"I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read "Democracy in America" by Alexis de Tocqueville. There can never be a better book than that one on the strengths and vulnerabilities inherent in our form of government."
-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
"And I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read the greatest American short story, which is "Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge", by Ambrose Bierce. . . . It is a flawless example of American genius, like "Sophisticated Lady" by Duke Ellington or the Franklin stove.
"I consider anybody a twerp who hasn't read "Democracy in America" by Alexis de Tocqueville. There can never be a better book than that one on the strengths and vulnerabilities inherent in our form of government."
-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
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twerp
A person who sits in the bathtub and collects farts in bottles.
He does this by filling a bottle with water and, while holding the bottle underwater, displaces the water inside it with intestinal gas. The bottle should be capped quickly, then labeled with the born-on date and any other pertinant data.
This technique was invented by Eichler Stench in Castro Valley, California, in the mid-1950s. He had an amazing collection of bottles well into his forties. He often carried a bottle or two to fend off Pachuco boys who wanted to beat him up. When faced with a bottle of July 17, 1958, even the most vile and greasy-haired Pachuco would turn and run.
Eichler Stench was last seen in Pacific Palisades, California.
He does this by filling a bottle with water and, while holding the bottle underwater, displaces the water inside it with intestinal gas. The bottle should be capped quickly, then labeled with the born-on date and any other pertinant data.
This technique was invented by Eichler Stench in Castro Valley, California, in the mid-1950s. He had an amazing collection of bottles well into his forties. He often carried a bottle or two to fend off Pachuco boys who wanted to beat him up. When faced with a bottle of July 17, 1958, even the most vile and greasy-haired Pachuco would turn and run.
Eichler Stench was last seen in Pacific Palisades, California.
Eichler Stench was the most prolific twerp I've ever known. He once showed my son his impressive collection of bottled farts.
twerp by Bumkicker Slade April 24, 2005
Twerp
Twerp by Montykristo April 4, 2022