squat cobbler

Squat Cobbler: (skwät ka-blēr)

The fetishized act of a man who sits in pie(s). Particular attention is given to the man's clothed/costumed buttocks and the specific "wiggling around" gyrations that are made once the man has sufficiently mounted the pastry.

Squat cobbling and it's variants are designed to titillate the senses and are often stored on various forms of digital media. Specialist squat cobblers, such as "crybaby squat cobblers", (a male who sits in pie while crying like a baby) are rare but in very high demand amongst pie sitting hobbyists.

(Squat cobbler videos will always feature a fully clothed or costumed man, who's pie sitting and wiggling of the buttocks will always be performed within all legal boundaries.)

AKA: "Hoboken Squat Cobbler", "Boston Cream Splat", "Full Moon Pie" and the oft requested "Dutch Apple Ass"
I stopped going on fullcreamahead.org for watching squat cobbler vids dude... I found a guy who will do custom dutch-apple-ass squat cobbling movies and only accepts baseball cards as payment bro!
by Russell. D.Jimmz March 01, 2016
Get the squat cobbler mug.

squat cobbler

A squat cobbler is someone who squats over pies (like apple and rhubarb), and rubs their buttocks over the oven warmed dessert for sexual arousal.
Some specialists opt to cry and sob whilst performing this act.
I would like to partake in Squat Cobbling to get myself off tonight.
Or
Look over there, that man's squat cobbling.

He is a Squat Cobbler.
by Jimmy MacGill April 06, 2016
Get the squat cobbler mug.

squat cobbler

A sexual fetish, similar to sploshing/food sitting/cake farts, but specifically with the use of pies.
That dude's a squat cobbler... You know.. he gets off sitting on various pies. Boston cream, Dutch Apple, lemon meringue, if it's a pie he's sitting on it and loving it.
by mediaskate648 April 27, 2016
Get the squat cobbler mug.

squat cobbler

Someone who gets a sexual thrill by sitting on pie.
"Sunny thought Bob had a foot fetish, but he turned out to be a squat cobbler guy."
by Manny Petty February 23, 2016
Get the squat cobbler mug.

Squat Cobbler

A Squat Cobbler also known in some areas as a Hoboken Squat Cobbler involves a naked man sitting down on a pie and wiggling around. Crying may or may not be involved. It’s a fetish.
The squat cobbler loved having his picture taken while dressed as a baby.
by Sal T Penuz April 03, 2016
Get the Squat Cobbler mug.

Squat Cobbler

It's when a man sits in pie and wiggles his penis around wearing a costume. Occasionally the man starts tearing up, therefore it's known as Crybaby Squad.

One might also stumble upon one of these definitions:
Hoboken Squat Cobbler
Full Moon Moon-Pie
Boston Cream Splat
Simple-Simon-The-Ass-Man
Dutch Apple Ass

(originated by the character of Saul Goodman in a television series "Better Call Saul")
SIMON: Bro, did you hear what Angela caught Patrick doing last night?
ALEX: No, what?
SIMON: He was sitting in a freaking apple pie wiggling his dick in cinnamon while wearing a Power Rangers outfit.
ALEX: Wow, what a squat cobbler, that guy.
by Clarkinator March 13, 2016
Get the Squat Cobbler mug.

Squat cobbler

A type of fetish, usually recorded on video, where in a person sits in a pie and wiggles around in it for another person's pleasure. A common derivative of the squat cobbler is the crybaby squat, which involves crying when squatting the cobbler.

Aka Hoboken squat cobbler, full moon moon-pie, Boston cream splat, Simple Simon the ass man and Dutch Apple ass.
Jimmy: He wasn't a drug dealer; he was just making squat cobbler videos.
by Rainbowbandit March 21, 2016
Get the Squat cobbler mug.