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State Farm Insurance

State Farm -noun: A band of fascist liars who use guerrilla tactics in order to do absolutely nothing, with the exception of fucking all of their clients, while still making millions of dollars every year.
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-Synonym: Aaron Burr, Al-Qaida, asshole, enron, Hitler, liar, nazi, north korea, pedophile, politician, rapist, scientology, terrorist, thief, totalitarian.
"Fuck State Farm Insurance!"

"Why?"

"Because I thought this war was over, but apparently its not because on the contrary to our rental car agreement state farm backed out of paying for 42 days of rental car use. Due to an accounting error by state farm and a billing error by enterprise auto insurance no one noticed until today that I owe over $900 to enterprise car rental. At this point all I can do is laugh. I have never heard of someone getting fucked so badly with auto insurance claim until now. My car was just paid off last week although it has been totaled since October 7, 2006! Tell your friends and tell your family FUCK STATE FARM auto insurance! I hope that fucking company goes bankrupt and all of its employees get laid off. Especially all of the ones who took part in processing my claim, their fates are destine to be filled with nothing but torture and suffering. Karma is a bitch and everyone single one of those mother-fuckers is going down!"
by Frankieverdi February 8, 2007
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State Farm switch

When you find out your husband IS fucking Jake from State Farm on the low.
Anna was fooled by the State Farm switch when she heard her husband asking if Jake from State Farm liked the way he sucked Jake’s dick. She always knew Jake was on the DL
by DVillan October 11, 2020
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Jake from state farm

Some cool kid in khakis. He is also on twitter. Waterbugs.
Guy: ...You'd do that for me? Really!
Wife: Who is that.
Guy: Jake from state farm.
Guy: *Sounds like a really good deal*.
Wife: Jake from state-farm in 3 in the morning, WHO IS THIS
Guy: It's Jake from state-farm.
Wife: What are you wearing "Jake from state farm"
Jake: Ugh... Khakis
Wife: She sounds hideous
Guy: Well she's a guy so...
by Waterbugs November 19, 2013
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Jake from State Farm

what you call a friend when your wife/girlfriend gets jealous and wonders who you have been hanging out with until 3 in the morning.
Who were you with all night? Jake from State Farm
by Cadet 7755 September 2, 2014
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jake from state farm

What you say when someone asks "Who are you?"
Person 1: I think you have the wrong number, who is this?

Person 2: Jake from State Farm.
by Chrome5747 December 6, 2013
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Jake from state farm

An embarassment to Jakes everywhere, but awesome to everyone else.
Person 1: What's your name?
Jake: Jake
Person 1: Oh, like Jake from State Farm?
Jake: No, fuck you.
by you've got werms August 2, 2016
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Jake From State Farm

A medium sized man who lives in an apartment building. Works at State Farm (Obviously). Shift tends to be in the middle of the night (So wives can catch their husbands on the phone in the middle of the night and think they're cheating). Favorite clothes are a red top and khakis.
I caught my husband talking to Jake From State Farm in the middle of the night.
by Hydiin November 12, 2014
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