Simultaneous release

when one concurrently urinates and defecates; referenced in the song "Dani California"

I would sure rest in peace after a simultaneous release.

by prague1 June 30, 2006

circumstantial simultaneity

The idea that the entirety of history and existence is a series of repeated events; nothing that happens is new. The idea implies events are connected circumstantially through their meaning, and from a temporally external frame of reference, happen at the same time. The term was coined by Andrew Hussie in his webcomic Homestuck.

Alice: I broke my wrist last week after slipping on an acorn. Didn't that same thing happen to you?
Bob: Indeed. It's wondrous how rampant circumstantial simultaneity is throughout the universe.
Alice: bob stfu you fucking nerd

by madface7 April 24, 2021

Arrrr *simultaneously scrunch nose*

An expression you can use when you're either happy or excited. This expression is usually used at your highest moment of excitement or happiness. Also used a lot when complimented by someone especially someone special.

Someone: "You look really good"
Me: "Arrrr *simultaneously scrunch nose*"

by lokloka December 15, 2018

Simultaneously Convertext

Having two conversations while texting the same person

Whenever i simultaneously convertext, I end up getting really confused as to what the hell the other person is referring too.

by Machinarine September 5, 2011

Simultaneous Zisk

When you and your friend notice an attractive person at the same time and therefore must battle over who gets to introduce them self first. Usually occurs at party, bar, or similar scene where you are trying to pick up a babe (male or female).

Rules of Simultaneous Zisk:

1) When you both see the hottie, make eye contact with the other and yell "Zisk!" at each other. This initiates the game.

2) First person to smack the nearest door hinge wins.

3) Winner gets ten minutes to engage the hottie with no interruptions. Loser may intervene if after the ten minutes the hottie seems uninterested.

"Why are you standing so close the door? You're kind of in the way."

"Sorry I'm expecting Betty and I have to have a good position for Simultaneous Zisk. I just know Jordan is going to try an say he say her first."

by lalaking January 20, 2015

simultaneous ambidextoral coordination

The act of simultaneously wiping each of one's dual buttholes with each hand, separately, at the same time.

This occurs when one has dual dirty buttholes, two hands, and two pieces of toilet paper (preferably clean) and uses one hand to wipe each of the dirty buttholes (one hand per hole, NO SWITCHING!); one hand wiping in a circular motion, the other in straight lines (front to back or side to side, not both), thus achieving simultaneous ambidextoral coordination.

by Nurse Ratchet February 24, 2023

Explain Simultaneous Equations

The thing you ask your stupid friend to define as a test of intelligence.

"Explain Simultaneous Equations."
"I can't, I'm too stupid."

by HappyCrocodile24 March 27, 2023