Rembrandt 

Rembrandt, Dutch Renaissance artist cir. 1600 known for his usage of light and shading, was a sexy piece of ass.

'Look at the shading on /that/ ass, yo'

'fo real'

Rembrandt by Dane April 16, 2005

Raining Rembrandt 

Raining Rembrandt is the art of covering your buthole with multiple colors of paint and farting them on something or somebody else.

Last night John gave that girl from the bar an imense Raining Rembrandt.

Raining Rembrandt by E3ze July 15, 2017

Rembrandt 

Used pejoratively, the term "Rembrandt" can be applied to any lecherous individual over 40 with pedophilic predilections of any sort.

The term was originated in Germany in the early 2000s in reference to a highly suspicious park-dweller in Bonn who accosted a group of schoolchildren inviting them to a "night walk" with lanterns. The individual wore an ornate leather hat not unlike those in Rembrandt's famous painting "The Night Watchman."

The term can also be used more playfully to designate any individual (almost always male) guilty of ogling women under 18.

That guy over there is a Rembrandt. I'd keep your kids away from him at all costs.

Rembrandt by Doctor Max July 30, 2012

Rembrandt 

When you are with a girl, and you pull a chunk of her hair out, cum all over it, then pint her face with it

Matt was with a chick last night and he finally pulled off a Rembrandt for the ages!

Rembrandt by DC masterpieces September 17, 2022

Closet Rembrandt 

The act of forced defecation on a vertical surface, usually in a closet or pantry.

That party was so lame I had the chance to slip into their parent's bedroom and leave a closet Rembrandt.

Closet Rembrandt by piGGman March 15, 2021