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Psychologist

Psychologists are just people who weren’t smart enough to be psychics.
Terry: My psych evaluation is today. They're gonna decide if I'm ready to make it back on the streets.
Gina: Why do you care what they think? Psychologists are just people who weren't smart enough to be psychics.
by dionysius’bxtch March 17, 2019
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clerical psychologist

A term that darkly mocks what clinical psychology has become in this data-heavy, lawsuit-driven world which often values documentation of treatment more than the treatment itself.
I feel like I should be called a “clerical psychologist” because the time needed to appropriately document the clinical contact, required by the state, can eat up the entire hour, leaving me with no time to interact with the patient!
by Dr Bunnygirl September 15, 2019
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armchair psychologist

A person who gives advice for mental disorders, emotional disorders, or any other mental illness and has no known background knowledge of psychology. More than just advice with no clinical know how.
Some dude gave me advice on eating disorders at Mac D's and claimed that the food additives had addictive properties creating a mental cycle of "food abuse". I asked if he was some kind of armchair psychologist or a something, grabbed my number one with cheese and bounced. Fucker was right or was he?
by anti-goodtimes October 9, 2009
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Internet Psychologist

An individual, often pretentious, that takes huge leaps of logic in order to claim an understanding of the real-world persona of someone they come in contact with through the internet. This is usually in an argument or debate, as internet psychologists usually love to think they are right about everything.

They have a tendency to point out things that people say and use them as evidence to "prove" they are a certain way in real life. Often, they are wrong, as they tend to stretch the truth of the facts they are given to fit a negative image of the person they are "evaluating" and just come across looking like complete tools.
Internet Psychologist: You're obviously someone ugly who can't get a girl and is trying to downplay it by saying you don't think this attractive girl is attractive.

Normal Person: Dude, all I said was that I personally am not into redheads. Stop being an internet psychologist.
by Glamoiglia November 30, 2011
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Pub Psychologist

An understanding and sympathetic person people turn to in a pub or bar to talk about their problems.
He got it all sorted after speaking to the pub psychologist.
by wardswords November 28, 2016
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School Psychologist

A person attempting to make childhood less hellish for others than it was for themselves.
School Psychologists are the best friends Mechanical Engineers could ever find!
by Patty M November 1, 2006
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criminal psychologist

A person who has been schooled in criminal psychology, which involves a unique and highly trained mind, and a person of great intelligence. Criminal psychology is hard to explain properly, but from my understanding, it is when the criminal psychologist has to try and think like a killer (criminal psychologists are sometimes asked to help police with murders), try and get inside their mind, and try to undterstand why the killer committed the crime in question, so the case can be solved, if the criminal psychologist has been hired by police. This may involve using evidence from the crime as a way to try to get inside the killers mind. Criminal psychology doesn't always determine exactly who the killer is, it does help immensely though to give an idea of the personality of the killer, what he's like, and so on. People who knew the victims of the crimes are often interviewed by police to get any possible leads on who the actual killer is, and suspects may also be interrogated to narrow down any list of people the police might believe committed the crime. This all has to do with the criminal psychologist, because he or she is often the one who has to figure out how the crime happened with the information that is given to him/her, whether it be from an acquaintance of the victim, or a suspect, or crime scene evidence.
Dr. John Davies is a criminal psychologist.

The police have hired a criminal psychologist to help them figure out who the killer is in their latest case.
by Nimbus April 29, 2005
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