puritanism

The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy

Needless to say, puritans hate fun

by shambola September 5, 2004

Puritan

A an old fashioned, homeschooling mother who thinks that girls should suffer during warm weather because shorts and tank tops will turn them into strippers destined for hell.

*girl walks into room wearing a weather-appropriate but not revealing tank top and jeans*

Puritan mother: Oh my goodness! Put some clothes on before you end up spending the rest of your life in a brothel!

Girl: But look at Zack! He's shirtless and his jeans are so low we can practically see all of his boxers! Why is that ok??

Puritan mother: Because I'm a sexist bitch.

by thatsjustterrible June 1, 2011

Puritan

Someone who wants to basically make life as boring as possible

Mr. Cox is so puritan he made the band instafail due to lack of coolness.

by WaCkEdOuTDj March 8, 2009

word puritan

A closed-minded person who sees all language in black and white with no exceptions. They are sticklers for one dictionary as their lone authority on every word. They are anal sticklers about language and they refuse to accept any new slang words as legitimate additions to a certain language. Esp., English.

The Scrabble buff was a "word puritan" and he refused to accept any coinage of a new word that was not from his authoritative source.

by ZonaCat Hansen October 30, 2010

Puritanical

Religious rules limiting the sexual expressions of members of the group.

The puritanical leader forbade my Mother from wearing pants or perfume.

by Babyface1936 February 1, 2020

Rock Puritan

A person or people who listens to Rock music and will argue with others about the perfection of their favorite band(s) and will also argue that other bands suck.

Dude Jeff is such a Rock Puritan, he's always trying to tell me that AC/DC kicks ass but he refuses to listen to Zeppelin!

by Glass-Assassin February 24, 2009

puritans

The Puritans were members of a religious reformation movement known as Puritanism which arose within the Church of England. Puritans were the more extreme Protestants within the Church of England in the late 16th century who thought that the English Reformation wasn’t far enough in reforming the doctrines and structure of the church. They wanted to purify the Church of England as it was too similar to the Roman Catholic Church. In the 17th century, many Puritans emigrated to the New World, where they sought a holy commonwealth in New England.

many Puritans emigrated to the New World

by skskoop September 30, 2019