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Jack Off Sense

The heightened sense you develop for noticing when someone is going to come in your room before you do.
Nelly's jack off sense warned him to hide the porn and lotion at a moments notice.
by Peter Urban May 4, 2006
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no offense

a phrase that is believed to make a really rude comment less rude, but really just makes you look like a jackass.
by katopoliss December 7, 2010
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Offensed

When you try to say "offended" but ended up saying "offensive" halfway through.
A: Dude, you know i am offensed by what you said.
A: ...
B: Dude.
A: Dude.
by faggut January 23, 2019
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Olerud Offense

An Olerud Offense applies stricto sensu to football but it can be broadened to include a variety of other sports, both real and virtual.

The Olerud Offense was derived from the madcap antics of the baseball great John Olerud. Just as the adjective Olerud implies a zany unpredictability, the Olerud Offense is characterized by its maverick formations and headlong playcalling. The term was coined in the early 1990s during one of Houston's famous living room Tecmo tournaments.

One prominent feature of the Olerud Offense is the flea-flicker; another is the so-called 100-yard-pass play, made most famous in Super Tecmo by QB Eagles.
This guy runs an Olerud Offense so watch the fudge out!!
by Doctor Max August 1, 2012
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No Offense

A phrase added to an otherwise insulting statement. You say "no offense" right before or after you say something that is insulting. "No offense" allows you to say just about anything you want about anyone.

It is sometimes followed up by "none taken." The recipient of the original comment says "none taken" to signal that they were not insulted.
Without)
Joe: Sally, you've put on some weight
Sally: *slaps the shit out of Joe*

With)

Joe: No offense, Sally, you've gotten fat
Sally: None taken. I guess I should go on a diet. .
by Northendwhitetrash October 4, 2009
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Facepalmable Offense

An act that is worthy of receiving a facepalm
Forgetting to wear clothes is such a facepalmable offense.
by tripolar92 February 14, 2009
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whiteboard offense

Drawing up basketball plays on a whiteboard that relate to relationship advice or getting someone laid
Seth is trying to get with Jasmine, we gotta get the whiteboard offense going to help him out.
by Eatmyshorts21 March 8, 2017
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