Monkey-spank

A punishment administered to boys in British Secondary schools (now uncommon since corporal punishment outlawed in 1988) whereby the miscreant is called to the front of the class. There he is placed supine across the teachers knee, his trousers and knickers are pulled down below the calves and his buttocks are slapped as hard as possible with the open hand between 6-8 times. The recipient is then rolled over and receives a violent punch to the bell-end or scrotum with the clenched fist.
Usually carried out to re-inforce principles/basics when teaching quadratic algerbra.

Word, blud - you check Snoopi put glass n sheeat in Mr Campbell's tea?
Yea, dog! An got his batty messup widda Monkey-Spank! (said by a white kid)

by Reverend Tremendous Embakwame August 6, 2007

Spank Monkey

Someone who's life has been consumed by internet porn, and they spend all their time beating off in front of the computer.

Tommy turned into a spank monkey when his family got high speed internet service.

by Willey P September 20, 2007

Spank Monkey

A frenzied practitioner of consensual BDSM involving repetitive blows ("spanks") rained down upon the voluntarily uplifted bottom. By extension, someone who can't stop talking about this hobby.

Suzeemoon much enjoyed being disciplined by her Cariad using well-judged slaps upon her gluteus maxima - in fact, she was an incorrigible Spank Monkey.

by NickCosmoSonde October 5, 2008

clappin spank monkey

A person whos so high they they dont laugh, they clap/ or/ someone who get the clap after fucking someone they dont know.

she got the clap after fuckin that random at that party last night

by EyYo Froshie December 16, 2004

spank monkey man

a term used by a wife for her husband because he doesn't get enough sex and has to wank a lot instead.

your such a spank monkey man you fat bastard.

by thistlemuncher May 14, 2011

Spank Ze Monkey

A game in which two men (not gay) jerk each other off vigorously until one blows his load. After the winner may choose to call the guy a faggot and blow his load onto his face.

Dude me and gouch were playing Spank Ze Monkey yesterday and i totally fucking lost! He blew his load onto my eye and called me a faggot, humiliating as shit.

by purpleslingeryo July 8, 2011

Spank My Monkey

another way of saying to masturbate; to beat off.

"I get so much ass I never find time to spank my monkey."

by J-Al January 3, 2009