The funniest/manliness piece of literature mankind has ever read. Perhaps it will be looked back on as the manliest book of all time.
To quote the author, Maddox (creator of "The Best Page in the Universe... www.maddox.xmission.com), here's an exerpt and commentary from/about his book:
"This is the only sentence in the entire book that will give you a chance to adjust your face; take your time, because it’s about to be rocked off — permanently.
Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved: The Alphabet of Manliness. This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. Here’s a small sample of the ass-kickery found within these revered pages of outright manliness:
* People getting drop-kicked in the face
* Phallic aggression
* Violence in excess of what has come to be known as excessive
* Garish disregard for the well-being of children
* Contempt for animals, women, and other cultures
* Intimidating rhetoric
* Obscure penile references
* The triumph of flannel over good taste"
- Maddox
To quote the author, Maddox (creator of "The Best Page in the Universe... www.maddox.xmission.com), here's an exerpt and commentary from/about his book:
"This is the only sentence in the entire book that will give you a chance to adjust your face; take your time, because it’s about to be rocked off — permanently.
Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved: The Alphabet of Manliness. This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. Here’s a small sample of the ass-kickery found within these revered pages of outright manliness:
* People getting drop-kicked in the face
* Phallic aggression
* Violence in excess of what has come to be known as excessive
* Garish disregard for the well-being of children
* Contempt for animals, women, and other cultures
* Intimidating rhetoric
* Obscure penile references
* The triumph of flannel over good taste"
- Maddox
Chapter "R" for Restroom Etiquette from The Alphabet of Manliness states:
"RULE 1: Don't Gawk At the Cock
If you look at a man's penis at a urinal, the packets of light known as photons are bouncing off his dick and are being directly absorbed into your eyes. You wouldn't drip visine into your eyes that has dripped off another man's balls would you??"
"RULE 1: Don't Gawk At the Cock
If you look at a man's penis at a urinal, the packets of light known as photons are bouncing off his dick and are being directly absorbed into your eyes. You wouldn't drip visine into your eyes that has dripped off another man's balls would you??"
by LoganP June 26, 2006
Get the the alphabet of manliness mug.A guy who is used by a girl though he knows it, yet keeps coming back to her despite all the crap she puts him through. The guy is invariably in love/lust with the girl and will go through hoops/put up with her back and forth in the offchance that he might be able to date her. These situations usually result in the man being crushed.
Sometimes the guy can delude himself into thinking he just wants to be good friends with her. This does not last long.
Sometimes the guy can delude himself into thinking he just wants to be good friends with her. This does not last long.
In the movie "He's just not that into you", Kevin Connolly's character (Conor) is a manpoline for Scarlet Johansson's character Anna. He's always there when she needs him but she never has to give anything back.
Guy 1: What did you do this weekend?
Guy 2: Oh it was awesome, Cara actually came over last night. She was having a tiff with her boyfriend. I made her a great dinner and we talked and cuddled a little bit. Then she left abruptly, maybe got a text from him. But I haven't heard from her since then.
Guy 1: This isn't going anywhere is it?
Guy 2: Well, I think she'll eventually see I'm a good guy and we work well together.
Guy 1: <rolls eyes>
Guy 1: What did you do this weekend?
Guy 2: Oh it was awesome, Cara actually came over last night. She was having a tiff with her boyfriend. I made her a great dinner and we talked and cuddled a little bit. Then she left abruptly, maybe got a text from him. But I haven't heard from her since then.
Guy 1: This isn't going anywhere is it?
Guy 2: Well, I think she'll eventually see I'm a good guy and we work well together.
Guy 1: <rolls eyes>
by Vermonster August 24, 2009
Get the manpoline mug.(@m0scar) Personaje famoso conocido como el Kamikaze de la AP-7. Viaja por toda España en busca del amor. Su hora preferida son lah zei de la manina. Tiene a medio Twitter atemorizado con sus denuncias. Copresidente de Orange tras reflotar la empresa comprando inumerables números de telefono. NO ES UN KAMIKAZE
manolon no folla
by ManoloFaker June 7, 2013
Get the manolon mug.Very cool, outgoing and overall fun person. Very smart, clever, and just plain amazing. One of the most awesome people you will ever meet.
by lavendarhaze September 14, 2010
Get the Manlin mug.A book written by Maddox. Published May 30th, 2006.
This book is guaranteed to make you a badass motherfucker just like Maddox, and the chapters are defined below:
A is for Ass-Kicking
B is for Boners
C is for Copping A Feel
D is for Dump, Taking A
E is for Enlightenment (Women have never invented anything)
F is for Female Wrestling
G is for Gas
H is for Hot Sauce
I is for Irate
J is for Jerky, Beef
K is for Knockers
L is for Lumberjack (Caveman -> Viking -> Pirate -> Lumberjack)
M is for Metal
N is for Norris, Chuck
O is for Obedience (Training for Women)
P is for Pirates
Q is for Quickie
R is for Road Rage
S is for Sneaking a Peek
T is for Taunting
U is for Urinal Etiquette
V is for Violence
W is for Winner
X is for XXX
Y is for Yelling
Z is for Zombies
This book is guaranteed to make you a badass motherfucker just like Maddox, and the chapters are defined below:
A is for Ass-Kicking
B is for Boners
C is for Copping A Feel
D is for Dump, Taking A
E is for Enlightenment (Women have never invented anything)
F is for Female Wrestling
G is for Gas
H is for Hot Sauce
I is for Irate
J is for Jerky, Beef
K is for Knockers
L is for Lumberjack (Caveman -> Viking -> Pirate -> Lumberjack)
M is for Metal
N is for Norris, Chuck
O is for Obedience (Training for Women)
P is for Pirates
Q is for Quickie
R is for Road Rage
S is for Sneaking a Peek
T is for Taunting
U is for Urinal Etiquette
V is for Violence
W is for Winner
X is for XXX
Y is for Yelling
Z is for Zombies
In the Alphabet of Manliness, there is a list of all definitive winners in history. They are as follows:
- Me
- King Ghidora
- Steve Buscemi
- Lesbians
- Flying Squirrels
- Red Twizzlers
- Castlevania: 1, 3, 4, Symphony of th eNight, Dawn of Sorrow
- Kung Pao shrimp
- Theodore Roosevelt
- Moshi Moshi
- Ivan the Terrible
- Extra sharp cheddar cheese
- Monsters
- Fried chicken
- Chops
- Me
- King Ghidora
- Steve Buscemi
- Lesbians
- Flying Squirrels
- Red Twizzlers
- Castlevania: 1, 3, 4, Symphony of th eNight, Dawn of Sorrow
- Kung Pao shrimp
- Theodore Roosevelt
- Moshi Moshi
- Ivan the Terrible
- Extra sharp cheddar cheese
- Monsters
- Fried chicken
- Chops
by TaterMySalad June 11, 2006
Get the alphabet of manliness mug.Manolis (pronounced Man-oh-lee) is the name of an ancient Greek king, at that time commonly known as King Manolis. Manolis meant king in ancient greek.
by upsideinside November 6, 2009
Get the Manolis mug.by Frozen-rujos April 22, 2010
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