Mateu

HE IS SO HOTT, HE GETS ALL THE HOES, AND HE IS THE MOST LOYAL BOYFRIEND, AND HE IS SO TALENTED AND HOT
Holy shit Mateu is so hot
by Dohx44 December 27, 2019
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Mateus

Mateus is such a simp...
by NIgga 9uu8h82r3 August 02, 2020
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Mateus

A Mateus is a animal commonly found in big dumpsters with shit and expired milk in it. A Mateuses normal traits are sucking dick and fucking men in the ass. When you see a Mateus you should run away and say, “go fuck yourself,” it makes them literally fuck themselves in the ass while you escape.
O shit, that’s a big Mateus, we better run, “go fuck yourself,”.
Eww there’s a Mateus in this dumpster with shit in it.
by Jorrrrrrr May 15, 2018
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mateu

A 6 foot fucking nerd who doesn’t get sleep and is on FaceTime all night. He likes to play football
Guy: did u see Mateu in the hallway
Guy 2: yeah he almost killed Rooper
by Mayo29 November 04, 2019
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The Story of Mateus

Once upon an eternity ago, Mateus, who is a ninja, was at war with The Zombies. (They were much like the ones we know today, expect way deadlier.) Anyway, while engaged in combat, Mateus fell into an endless abyss that he designed for disposal of The Zombies. That abyss, which is impossible to escape, is now called the universe. From there he went on to create Earth, humanity, and everything else for unknown reasons. That is how he became God.
Mateus: "Ouch! Fuck, it's dark. Where am I? Oh shit, is this...? Damn it. Dang this is big - I wonder if there are still Zombies down here...this is gonna look bad on my autobiography 'The Story of Mateus'. (3 minutes later) I could really go for some sex right about now. I got it! Planet + animals + water = people! People = hookers! Hookers = sex! Oh, this is gonna be fun..."
by Ninja13 February 23, 2008
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Mateus Fatus

{Ma-tay-us Fa-toos}
A sophisticated word with a Latin sound to it, meaning "fat matt". This word is used for when there is an obese person named matt.
Clear the halls for a wide load, a Mateus Fatus is coming!
by Mexirocker August 29, 2006
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