masterbating

(verb/Adv.) to bat masterfully during either a cricket or a baseball game.

Game commentator: Did you see that HOME RUN, that was out of this WORLD. This truly is masterful batsmanship.
Me: No, this is just masterbating .

by mambassenpai November 12, 2014

masterbating with a cheese grater

Doing a task that is not a good idea

Moving this piano without help is like masterbating with a cheese grater.

by matt1975 September 10, 2012

Masterbating Monkey

A primate creature who masterbates.

"Monkey Masterbation Spotting" has become a hobby in the South American State of illinois. A well known competitor in the sport of of Monkey Masterbation Spotting is Fred Phelps, a very vocal and fanatically religeous biggot.

The monkey wrapped his primate hand around his primate pink penis, and masterbated furiously untill he fell out of his tree. Fred Phelps watched in glee as he photographed the event so he could show the pictures to his family.

by Gordon Freeman October 31, 2004

masterbating date-imitater

The guy who imagines a whole date with a girl using his hand as the girl. He'll cook diner and then just makeout with his hand too scared to make a move, c,mon you know they exist....

.....also, he may put clothes on it, even name it

Doug: "Hey Rocco, remember Norb?"

Rocco: "Ya, man, he used to try and get me to talk to Julie, ...I mean his hand, ...really freaked me out man.

Doug: "Dude I know, he was a classic case of a masterbating date-imitater."

by deliverer of babys January 16, 2011

Masterbating window licker

A person that follows you , annoys you, and always seems to be standing behind you . He or she tries to do eveyones job but their own with an intelligence level of a fucktard

Did you just see that masterbating window licker

by Whoswho 1 June 4, 2018

Masterbating roulette

When a group of men sit around in a circle, they all throw a dice, the amount rolled onto the dice is the amount of jerking off you have to do. The last one to cum wins

"Hey guys, do you wanna play masterbating roulette"

"Yeah, someone should get a dice

by thegayestnays.com November 7, 2022

stealth masterbating

When one wacks off as quietly as possible so as to not disturb the people in the same room.

Sam: I hope no one notices I am stealth masterbating
Girl friend: Sam ... are you wacking off!!!!
Sam: Oh Shit!

by themanwiththeplan9192 April 4, 2010