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kleptomaniac

a muthafucka that just can't seem to keep their hands of of other people's shyt. For example, a person who goes into Wal*Mart and just has the urgency to open a pack of permanent markers just to steal the red and green ones, or the crazy ass classmate that walks by and blatantly takes your brand spankin' new lead pencil off of your desk.
This kleptomaniac bastard just walked by and took my damn napkin...
by 20Breezy09 May 8, 2009
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narcoleptic kleptomaniac

-The sleepless stealer. A person who only steals or is a theif at night just for the heck of it.
narcoleptic kleptomaniac- Ex: A sleep walker or someone who thinks they're "Cat Woman."
by Niqua @@ November 7, 2010
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Kleptomaniac

A clever individual who shoplifts objects frequently from places of retail. Especially for someone they take interest in.
TJ is my favorite kleptomaniac, he stole this watch for me, I wear it everyday.
by Nikki828 March 22, 2017
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Alcohol-induced kleptomania

A feeling brought on by alcohol that creates an irresistible urge to steal random items. The individual suffering from this condition may or may not be a kleptomaniac in everyday sober life.
Cop #1: The suspect apparently polished off three old-fashions and snagged a DVD from the victim's house.

Cop #2: Classic case of alcohol-induced kleptomania.
by PatD13 June 9, 2012
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Kleptomaniac

Someone who cannot resist taking a souvenir from every new place he/she visits. It can be something as simple as a pen of lollipop from a bank, ranging to a pair of wangster shorts belonging to a boy from another team at a track/cross country meet. Kleptomaniacs are known to make up codenames for stolen items and their owners. also for excessive giggling.
(Cassie and Annie enter XC bus, giggling.)
Annie: Hey, you guys didn’t hear any weird noises, did you?
Cassie: Yea, your mom made some crazy noises last night!
Monkey Face: No… why?
Annie: I will tell you later. Not in front of Britter.
Guillerno: Were you guys looking at trees?
Britter: Trees? Don’t you mean flags? (cackles maniacally)
All: NO! What are you talking about, Victor?
Coach: Yea, Victor, what ARE you talking about?
(All laugh at Britter’s silliness.)
(Later, on bus ride home, with Britter safely terrorizing middle’uns.)
Monkey Face: Okay, what is it?
Annie: Hold on. (lifts up shirt)
Monkey Face: Whaaaat? Oh my GOSH!
(A traffic cone has been revealed under Annie’s seemingly preggers belly.)
(Cassie and Annie cackle maniacally.)
Monkey Face: Yalls are serious Kleptomaniacs, dawg.
by Anelisa (Clepto4Life) December 29, 2008
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kleptomemiac

The addiction of stealing or liberating memes to either stash for later or share on social media or in private messages.
Deep down we're all Kleptomemiacs!
by ElaborateLabyrinth October 2, 2018
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Kleptomaniac

Kleptomaniac is a serial burglar. They wear a mask covering their eyes, making them look like a raccoon. Some have even been known to wear no mask, and enjoy lying, especially if they're a hairy female.
Officer, I found this beer, on the sidewalk. It was a pity, not to drink it.

What's you're name?
Waldo Lily Trudeau.
Actor's make the best kleptomaniac's. They get alot of practice at it. Politicians love them.
by Iam not Elmer Fudd September 6, 2020
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