when you need to shit so bad that you need to clamp your ass cheeks together so you dont shit your pants

also accompanied by a V-shaped walk
When the "i need to walk slowly" shit occurs:

After eating Chinese food, Tom just made it to the bathroom before the full extent of his Lo Mein noodles kicked in.
by Neon Ninja Kills You November 02, 2009
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how fast do I have to walk

Someone asking how fast they have to walk for people to not realize they have dupe shoes. Respond with a joke. I.e. "bro can meditate" or "bro gotta start running💀"
Person 1: bro how fast do I have to walk?
Person 2: you can fucking meditate dude.

Person 1: bro how fast do I gotta walk?
Person 2: Nah you have to teleport or some shit.
by Homosheshuals January 15, 2023
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A phrase which is used to emphasise how much the speaker wishes not to do or take part in some activity, used as a response to a suggestion or request.

Comedic value is gained from the over emphasis of how much the person would not like to do said activity.

May have origins in a quote from the popular computer game "The Curse of Monkey Island" released on Windows 9x

Murray: You may call me ‘Murray’! I am a powerful demonic force! I am the harbinger of your doom! And the forces of darkness will applaud me as I stride through the Gates of Hell – carrying your head on a pike!
I would rather walk briskly through the gates of hell than attend a Justin Bieber concert.
by Elthrin November 08, 2013
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White trash unemployed mullet fashionista that’s all party no work
I don’t need a future no job so I walk backwards so it’s always a party
by Bdog559 February 01, 2020
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I walk to burger king

I walk to burger king then I walk back home from burger king
by toecheese14 December 08, 2021
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When you would rather walk a certain amount of km's to your house from your current location in order to leave an uncomfortable environment.
"I would rather walk the 8k's home than deal with Sharon right now as she is making me feel really uncomfortable".
by Lilblondedevil September 27, 2021
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I walk to school both ways

Used usually by Asian parents, trying to show their children how hard it was for them, and also defining the laws of physics where they will also say “When I was your age, physics wasn’t invented yet.”
“You kids have it so easyyy I walk to school both ways, uphill, one one foot, my other one was starting a business.” -Steven’s Dad
by I walk to school both ways March 14, 2022
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