A person with penises for
eyes. Very inconvenient, as you can
imagine, but perhaps they could be of use in the
porn industry.
My friend Kevin once
said to me, in a fit of drunken
stupidity, "Dude, I wish my eyes were penises!"
Lo and behold, the fates decided to agree with his request and grant it in the most hideous manner possible, for when he awoke the next
day, instead of gazing at the ceiling above him, an inflamed phallus emerged from each eyelid.
He soon found himself standing on street corners, destitude and holding up a cardboard sign that read "Please be my friend" while civilians passed by and laughed, for he couldn't hide his erections, and when limp, his new
penis-eyes looked hideous as ever. Kevin sat down and began to weep, though it was naught but urine trickling down his
cheeks.
Truly, a lesson is to be learned from all this: Be careful what you wish for!