I feel so empty,
ugly and agressive, I
hate myself, sometimes I want to die, sometimes I just don't want to exist. No one understands me, I feel like no one really cares, that frustrates me, I am so depressed,why can no one understand.
Constantly I have to compensate by spending excessively, buying lovely clothes in the hope that they
will make me feel like a beautiful person, not an
ugly worthless piece of crap.
Everything annoys me, the mess of my house, my house feels empty so I have to buy things to compensate. What am I compensating for? Love? Happieness? I had love once and lost it too. I wasn't happy when I had it, wasn't happy when I lost it. What
will make me feel complete?
It's not not having someone that makes you
lonely and it is
hard to explain what lonely is. Nothing seems to help, life seems pointless. I can't relax, when I do, I start to think, dark scarey thoughts, horrible thoughts of anger,
hate, emptieness.
Depression is
hard, however you can survive. You have to talk to someone, doctors can help. Having a sympathetic ear helps, not someone that tells you why you feel the
way you feel but someone that just listens. Writing a journal helps too, this gets the thoughts out of your mind, just like talking to someone.
Life is
hard but we all have, we just have to survice, keep fighting, it's not worthless.