defensive

The most sure way to make absolutely everyone hate you. It's the absolute most DESPICABLE fucking thing a human being can ever do. Bar fucking none.

I will say this once, and I will not say it again:

NEVER.
GET.
DEFENSIVE.

It'll be the absolute last fucking thing you'll ever do. Mark my fucking words.

A: *gets defensive*
A: *gets hated by everyone*
A: *Surprised Pikachu face*

by Someone32143214 August 24, 2022

Defensive Eating

Strategically consuming food for the sole purpose of preventing others from getting it.

Matt’s mother-in-law unexpectedly arrived with a delicious dinner immediately after Matt finished a 12-inch sub. In order to prevent his wife from getting the surprise meal, he used defensive eating to consume the additional food.

by CourtJ March 25, 2011

defensive cockblock

Act of interfering with someone who is kicking it to your piece.

Jim was all over my woman, so I had to defensive cockblock all night.

by j May 13, 2005

Defensive Handjob

When a female takes a male back to her room or goes back to his room, but does not want to sleep with him and instead calms him down or deflects his advances by giving him a defensive handjob. It is only a defensive handjob however if the evening's activities stop there, for instance intercourse immediately changes it from a defensive handjob to the normal foreplay variety of handjob.

No mate, I only got a Defensive Handjob.

by CrackFox91 October 30, 2010

defensive drinking

proactively drinking the premium beer, wine or alcohol so as to prevent others from consuming it

Tim engaged in some defensive drinking when he realized his buddies were consuming the good stuff.

by Allen Towne April 4, 2009

Defensive Eating

eating all the good food first so nobody else can get to it-mark

"man i hate when he does his defensive eating"

by suhhhh duude February 25, 2017

Defensive Striker

A defensive striker is the name given to a striker who is so useless at his man objective (to score goals) his fan base decide its time to literally re-write football to defend them, when in reality they’re close to bottom 5 strikers in the league

“Yea but he’s a defensive striker so I don’t care that he’s not scored in 2 seasons”

by XD123456789 March 31, 2020