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Counting Teslas

A fun and somewhat old fashioned style counting game for kids traveling in heavy traffic across the USA.
Oh sweetie, put your phone down and let’s just play Counting Teslas all the way home.
by Dr Bunnygirl November 29, 2019
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counting douche

An ancient American rite of passage for the young male brosef trying to prove himself on the modern battlefield (read: bars and clubs). Counting douche has a long and rich history in the club scene and can be easily observed on any night where classes get out early.

The act involves one male (hereby referred to as the 'douche') performing a physical act against another male-generally in the form of light body checking, body slapping, or other type of immature physical contact. The douche, contrary to popular belief, is not looking to start a physical confrontation as much as he is trying to impress his bro circle and their skank squadron. Confrontation is not rare, however, and much to the delight of nearby onlookers the douche is typically thrown headfirst back into his circlejerk of friends.

The most conservative definition of counting douche requires that the douche be physically smaller than his opponent. Larger opponents may be sought out in order to achieve more 'bro cred' and choice mating rights with the skanks. If the douche is larger than his opponent then bravery (or is it stupidity?) does not come in to play; the douche is more appropriately referred to as an 'asshole.'

North America has a rich warrior history of counting coup, and counting douche is the latest iteration of this unique phenomenon.
Example 1.
Patron 1: Hey, why is that squiggly little quimby with the three popped collars making it a point to keep bumping into you?
Patron 2: Oh don't worry he's just counting douche.
Patron 1: Don't let him touch you! His axe body spray will rub off and embed into your soft skin.


Example 2.
Bro 1: Yo brah, I bet you a case of Natty Ice you too scared to start shit with Fat Larry over there.
Bro 2: Durr make sure the bitches is watching whilst I begin counting douche.
by Butterknife April 6, 2009
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counting ants

The term used to discibe someone about to pass out on the bar. They're head is waving back and forth and close to the bar but they're not quite passed out.
Person 1 : Check out that guy he's counting ants!!

Person 2 : Soon he will be passed!
by Todd Romleski May 24, 2008
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Counting Your Dick

A phrase meaning to do nothing, often with a negative connotation.

The noun equivalent would be a Dick Counter.
Dude, its so nice outside today, why not stop counting your dick and go outside?
by Laver May 11, 2007
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counting crows

a band that makes music with certain themes and charactors appearing multiple times in their music examples would be Elizebeth and Maria which are charactors that interact with the lead singers love life and are mentioned in multiple songs set to talented rock music that is an easy listen in most cases
Mr. Jones is on the radio that song rocks its the counting crows first big hit.
by Kool Mint Flava October 4, 2010
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Counting Sheep

The act of closing your eyes while laying in bed and counting sheep one by one to help you fall asleep.
I was counting sheep for an hour last night before I fell asleep.
by Josh76524 December 9, 2008
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counting crows

The best band ever with the best albums ever. Fronted by Adam Duritz.
Perfect blue buildings
Beside the green apple seas
Oh, I wanna get me a little oblivion
Baby
Trying to keep myself
Away from myself and me
Oh, little perfect blue building
I can't keep myself away from me
Oh, little perfect blue building
by Really Bad Poetry April 16, 2005
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