Albertsons

The most prestigious company ever with a hiring bar much higher than FAANG and quant.

Google employee: My TC is 500k!
Jane Street employee: pfft! My TC is 800 .....
*an Albertsons employee walks in
*@Google & @Jane Street immediately kneel down and start sucking @Albertsons' prestigious balls

by marseylover August 9, 2022

Albertsons

A once respected grocery store chain started by a humble man, beloved and respected by his community for his fair business policies.
New stores were constructed only after the money to pay for them was earned, and "Better" was valued above "Bigger."

Now a bloated shell of its former being, taking on debt faster than the Titanic took on water, and helmed by an ego and no longer a man. "Bigger at any cost" valued over "Better," and their prices prove it.

"Oh my God Larry, have you seen Albertsons stock since the merger?"
"Hell yes Bob, it went down faster than an ugly actress at a casting call."

by Johnson says it all. (Close enough) June 9, 2005

Alberoni

Alberoni is usually a canadian male;; he may or may not be a robot. Alberoni loves pasta. A male named Alberoni usually has a bangin' body. Alberoni is possibly a cave-man. He goes hunting in the cold ice of Canada every morning and he rides polar bears to school because he is a fucking canadian and that is what canadians do. He probably goes to the bathroom about 7 times a day. He thinks he has swag (he doesn't) but he is still a good person. He likes wearing wife-beaters and anything that is RED. Alberoni is not a dog. He is fluent in german and chinese probably. He does 57 jumping-jacks every morning. He has an obsession with licking envelopes. He likes pouring tacky glue all over his naked body. He sometimes eats athlete's foot cream. He wishes he were born a lemur. Other than that though, he's k3wl.

Wow bro look at that Alberoni he is such a badass lolz I bet he just ate sum athlete's foot cream

by peepee diddy October 3, 2011

Albertsons

A communist outpost hidden as a grocery market

Look it’s a COMMIE FUCKING OUTPOST ALBERTSONS

by EMSP420 June 11, 2019

albertsons

A place where human beings turn into beasts and try to save as much money as they can...it's a place where you see certain soccer moms everyday because they have nothing better to do after they dropped off Talan, Shiloh, and Dakota at soccer pratice. Certain customers can earn a title known as "Legend" if they are deemed worthy by a certain group of cool employees. These "cool employees" pretty much run the store and are all smoking hot, no homo. Such legends at one particular store in Rowland Heights include: Cabbage Patch Lady, Duckman, Paper Bag Lady, Cat Lady, Orca Lady, Leather Man, Benson & Hedges Lady, etc. And the hoes that work there will dress up all skanky and come into the store on their off days to show off. This is what is referred to as "Cake-Walking". They will come in and buy gum or something not needed...they will then precede to have sex with many dudes and do drugs. And once in a while, you can spot cholos running out of the store with stolen beer.

albertson's checker: "hello mam, do u have your albertsons card?"

asian customer: "nye o nye...fie nie five"...translation: 909-595

albertsons checker: "f me in the mother effing a-hole mother effer"

by Cabbage Patch Lady March 14, 2008

Alderson

A huge zit or pimple that takes forever (months even) to go away.

Damn, that zit on my face is turning into an Alderson.

by SpokaneHo November 19, 2010

alverson

Alverson is an enigma. He will give you the best sex of your life one night and the next disappear to Arizona. He is also a leather daddy king.

Boy1: Life has been pretty boring lately.
Boy2: You should hook up with that guy over there!
Boy3: Yes! He’s the Alverson I’ve always needed!

by Mlbvs15 July 1, 2019