Same day shipping at 11:59pm

The Amazon employee has to speed run the package to your home in one minute. If they don’t succeed they are shipped to Afghanistan to be trained as ISIS members.

Me: (Orders an item on Amazon with same day shipping at 11:59pm)
Cursed Amazon worker: Fuck...

by Dick Cheeze Demario October 5, 2020

11:59PM

A teacher's way of saying "midnight" because they want you to turn in your work "TODAY and TODAY ONLY". NO LATE WORK.

Teacher: I want y'all to turn in your essay before 11:59pm or it's a zero.
Jane: why not midnight?
Teacher: Because I want it completed TODAY and TODAY ONLY.

by Cire7878 December 3, 2016

11596

the zip code where all the bad b's are from

Yeah, they're so swaggy, their zip is 11596!

by fuckingduckies June 10, 2021

1159

May love

My love forever

1159

by Lily1106 July 24, 2024

1159

I miss you quietly,
but constantly.

You live in the soft corners of my thoughts,
where your name rises without warning
and my heart answers before I can stop it.

You linger in the pauses of my day,
in the stillness of morning,
in the ache of night
a presence felt more than seen.

Some people pass through us.
But you…
you rooted yourself in my soul
without asking,
without trying,
simply by being you.

And I wonder
when your mind drifts,
does it ever land on me?
Do you feel that same pull,
that same quiet gravity
that refuses to let us fade?

Because I miss you
not out of habit,
not out of loneliness
but because something in me
still knows your energy
as home.

I think about you more than I admit.
And I miss you more than you’ll ever know.

1159

by Mi & Your♾️Fantasia December 7, 2025