by joeldemort January 8, 2014
Get the Captain America Chestmug. Mallory: You know that nigga Louden
John: Yea
Mallory: he’s got a Captain Hook
John: no way that shits gay as hell
John: Yea
Mallory: he’s got a Captain Hook
John: no way that shits gay as hell
by malgal3349 November 18, 2019
Get the Captain Hookmug. 
Get the Mike Ostroski Is Captain Underpantsmug. When an Amazon Driver has to do a variety of things such as complete another driver's route unexpectedly or rescue multiple people in a short amount of time.
by WiselSkielGrannel October 30, 2023
Get the Captain Saveahoemug. A half-functioning fishing captain powered by nicotine, meth, and pure coastal paranoia. Captain Crank is the guy screaming about government satellites while freebasing off tin foil in the engine room of a rusted-out commercial boat—or chain-smoking through a guided trip while cussing at seagulls and mumbling about “the deep state tracking red snapper migrations.”
Not to be confused with an old salty dog—Captain Crank isn’t wise, he’s wired. You’ll know him by the jerky hand movements, a permanent squint (either from sun damage or sleep deprivation), and the overwhelming scent of bait, diesel, and regret.
Spotting Characteristics:
- Yellowed mustache from years of inhaling tinfoil smoke
- Boat held together by zip ties, duct tape, and spite
- Knows exactly where the fish are… but won’t tell you unless you “wake up to what’s really going on”
- Listens exclusively to ham radio frequencies and Joe Rogan clips from 2016
- Will fight you and the harbor patrol if you touch his bait cooler
Common Habitats:
- Commercial fishing boats with suspicious burn marks near the bilge
- Charter docks where someone just got fired or disappeared
- VFW bars with broken pool tables
- Forums arguing that fish finders are government mind-control devices
Not to be confused with an old salty dog—Captain Crank isn’t wise, he’s wired. You’ll know him by the jerky hand movements, a permanent squint (either from sun damage or sleep deprivation), and the overwhelming scent of bait, diesel, and regret.
Spotting Characteristics:
- Yellowed mustache from years of inhaling tinfoil smoke
- Boat held together by zip ties, duct tape, and spite
- Knows exactly where the fish are… but won’t tell you unless you “wake up to what’s really going on”
- Listens exclusively to ham radio frequencies and Joe Rogan clips from 2016
- Will fight you and the harbor patrol if you touch his bait cooler
Common Habitats:
- Commercial fishing boats with suspicious burn marks near the bilge
- Charter docks where someone just got fired or disappeared
- VFW bars with broken pool tables
- Forums arguing that fish finders are government mind-control devices
“We thought he was just passionate… until Captain Crank started yelling about fluoride in the chum.”
“Captain Crank brought us to the fish, but also brought a .38 and a full-blown manifesto.”
“If you smell burnt foil and hear something about ‘the government stealing our swordfish,’ turn around—that’s a Captain Crank.”
“He didn’t use sonar. He said he ‘felt the vibrations in his fillings.’ I’m never chartering with Captain Crank again.”
“Captain Crank brought us to the fish, but also brought a .38 and a full-blown manifesto.”
“If you smell burnt foil and hear something about ‘the government stealing our swordfish,’ turn around—that’s a Captain Crank.”
“He didn’t use sonar. He said he ‘felt the vibrations in his fillings.’ I’m never chartering with Captain Crank again.”
by Pary Moppins August 3, 2025
Get the Captain Crankmug. The face of a good looking man. Much like the Captain's Chair of a plane, a commanding person sits on it and operates flaps.
"Looks at that Captain's Chair, I could go Atlantic on that."
"How would you like a ride on my Captain's Chair?"
"How would you like a ride on my Captain's Chair?"
by funneydude September 22, 2020
Get the Captain's Chairmug. Captain Chonk Chonk is our lord and saviour. His immense power is enough to squash 69 coconuts at once.
by Chonky Boi 69 December 5, 2020
Get the captain chonk chonkmug.