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Beard (Beardy/ Beardo)

A slightly disillusioned male prone to suffering from extreme emotions. Likely to become utterly infatuated with members of the opposite sex, only to perform a complete reversal of feelings in the blink of an eye and hurl verbal abuse at them.

100% absolutely guaranteed to be late, even if you purposefully tell him the wrong time, his inner clock will force you to rethink plans to allow for his tardiness. If you attempt to reprimand him for this, he will simply chuckle. In fact he will chuckle in literally any situation ala Dr Hibbert (The Simpsons)

Skirmishes with a Beard, (although over as quick as they begin and normally consist of him stamping over to you with a grimace on his face), will often result in him threatening you with a house brick

Although a Beard cannot be classed as a boy racer (as he is far too old), he will drive perilously fast. As a result a vital part of his vehicle (Brakes, Gearbox, Suspension) will usually emit distressing noises

Beards will demand to spend the majority of a night out in a drinking establishment frequented by old men. He will affectionately refer to this as a “pub pub” and will became very excited about the opportunities to order Stella and dry roasted peanuts.

If a Beard rubs his stomach or makes a gesture such as biting into an invisible burger, this is normally a sign that he is grown tired and needs replenishment (Often occurs towards the end of a night out)
“”Where’s that dam Beardo, I bet he’s having a second curry!””

“I don’t think Beard (Beardy/ Beardo) will be coming out tonight, he’s got a new girlfriend
by Cutco July 6, 2010
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Power Beard

Silly little men that think that having a dead rat on their face makes them look powerfull, also giving them something else to play with beside their own cocks
by The May 14, 2003
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Merlin's Beard

A layer of semen on a girl's face in areas where facial hair is commonly found on men, e.g. chin, upper lip, cheeks, neck. Usually results after a blowjob.
"Do you want a blowjob, sweetheart?"

"Yeah! How do you want it to end today, honey?"

"I'd love to have a Merlin's Beard, but whatever you want. It's your special day."

"You want it, you got it!"
by Merlin's Wife July 2, 2009
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Merlins Beard

Where one ejaculates onto one's partners face, leaving them with a beard dripping from their chin
1.

Dave: I was with this girl last night.
Tim: Oh yeah, how'd it go?
Dave: Got a blowjob
Tim: Did she swallow?
Dave: no, mate she likes it with a Merlins Beard
Tim: ......
Dave: Yeah....

2.

Steve: Want me to pull out?
Daisy: yeah, give me a Merlins Beard
by Jimmy Buttcracker August 20, 2013
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Beaded Curtain

When A person or persons have longer than normal pubis hair has accidently or otherwise ejaculated on themselves. After this has been done, the "Arabian goggle" Or "clam stamp" a person, with all the glorious sticky-ness, acting as a beaded curtain over your face.
Dude you passed out last night and Kable gave you a Beaded Curtain!
by Cakecakegee June 30, 2011
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Beard World

Where a person goes when they are high on marijuana. The equivalent of Margaritaville for those who drink.
Frankie: Where are you going ? On a burn run ?
Will: Yeah, we're on our way to Beard World.
by Colleen Barbie March 31, 2008
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Beardgut

Hayley: Check out Kyle and Chris furbattle wrestling with confetti stuck to their nipples
Anna: Yeah, Chris has a hot Beardgut
Hayley: Kyle's is hotter!
Anna: Yeah whatever!
by Meekalogical February 3, 2009
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