Jesus

The guy who turned water into wine.

Jesus turned my water into wine

by thereincarnatedjesus May 13, 2018

Jesus

Y'all need it

Y'all need jesus

by Saxaphone Mcsizzle October 13, 2018

Kiss the Jesus

Catholic Church code phrase used by Priests whilst in the confessional instructing the unwary confessee to "Kiss the Jesus." This is always accompanied by the sound of a zipper coming down in a rapid manner and a loud, "BOING-ing" sound as the erect penis of the Priest, at the sight of a ten year old boy, pops out of his Cassock.

Gerald, Ten Year Old Boy: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession."

Catholic Priest: "Say five Our Fathers and One Hail Mary and KISS THE JESUS."

<zip, BOING, followed by smooching noises>

by T&E September 7, 2005

jesus freak

jay carb.

no more needs to be said.

good god, if i have to hear one more thing about how his life is a walk with god from that jesus freak jay carb, i might just die!

by hmmmm... May 4, 2005

Jesus Christ

A word I say when I can't find my TV remote.

"Jesus Christ, where the hell is my damn TV remote?"

by Dr. Krabs September 3, 2009

jesus juice

my delicious strawberry nesquik.

chocolate and other flavors are gay.

like your mom

fuck im out of jesus juice, MOM GET IN THE CAR WERE GOING SHOPPING!
me: *buys all the jesus juice in the store*

by Ranger_Roy May 20, 2018

jesus condom

a term used for a nonexistent condom, derived from the fact that Jesus was a virgin and therefore would not have needed a condom at all. it makes sense, trust me.

so, basically, sex without a condom.

Yeah, me and Janet hit it off with a jesus condom last night.

by asbo August 17, 2006