A badass uncle who doesn't a shit about what others think! He's always welcoming and hospitable. On friday nights especially, he'll invite you to his house (which he cutely calls his lair) for fifa. Once you enter, you'll begin to notice, there is no TV. As a matter face, there is no furniture. Cum stains litter the walls.
"Wait what!" you'll scream,
"Cmon you know you love it" he'll respond.
He then shoves you into its scrotum where it smells like fish and the flesh hugs you from all sides.
Defined by his parents, Uncle Precious is a family sweetheart. When he was younger though, he went a horny rebellious teen phase. They would be eating dinner, when the whole house would begin to smell like fish. Yet the scent would grow stronger and stronger. Uncle Precious would come closer and closer. Hornier and hornier.
"What the shit Precious! It smells like fish!"
"Cmon you know you love it!" he would respond
"HE LOOKS HORNY!!!" My mother would cry, noting the massive bump in his pants.
"On the count of 3, 1... 2... RUN!!!" My grandmother shout.
Uncle precious would then run around the house terrifying the family members while stroking his member, his dick wagging in front of him like a happy dog.
Then, something snapped inside my grandfather. He pulled out the 16mm thumbtack from his front pocket. And pinned his scrotum to all corners of the house. He never misbehaved, ever again. Until, his sister had children.
"Wait what!" you'll scream,
"Cmon you know you love it" he'll respond.
He then shoves you into its scrotum where it smells like fish and the flesh hugs you from all sides.
Defined by his parents, Uncle Precious is a family sweetheart. When he was younger though, he went a horny rebellious teen phase. They would be eating dinner, when the whole house would begin to smell like fish. Yet the scent would grow stronger and stronger. Uncle Precious would come closer and closer. Hornier and hornier.
"What the shit Precious! It smells like fish!"
"Cmon you know you love it!" he would respond
"HE LOOKS HORNY!!!" My mother would cry, noting the massive bump in his pants.
"On the count of 3, 1... 2... RUN!!!" My grandmother shout.
Uncle precious would then run around the house terrifying the family members while stroking his member, his dick wagging in front of him like a happy dog.
Then, something snapped inside my grandfather. He pulled out the 16mm thumbtack from his front pocket. And pinned his scrotum to all corners of the house. He never misbehaved, ever again. Until, his sister had children.
"Please be gentle this time Uncle Precious, last time your rough scrotum really hurt me!"
"Cmon Uncle, do I really have to take Viagra the third time this day, I'm already bricked as hell!"
"UNCLE PRECIOUS: I'M GOING SOFT,!!!! I NEED MY VIAGRA!!!! I CANT BE SOFT EVER AGAIN!!!!!"
"Cmon Uncle, do I really have to take Viagra the third time this day, I'm already bricked as hell!"
"UNCLE PRECIOUS: I'M GOING SOFT,!!!! I NEED MY VIAGRA!!!! I CANT BE SOFT EVER AGAIN!!!!!"
by UnclePrecious December 27, 2023
Get the Uncle Preciousmug. A male senior, commonly named Tim, who looks like a shaved sack.
Behaviors may include bending over for his big daddy, acting like a bitch when he does not get attention from his big daddy, being a buzzkill, requesting to be designated driver for his big daddy, and getting jealous when others give his big daddy attention.
Behaviors may include bending over for his big daddy, acting like a bitch when he does not get attention from his big daddy, being a buzzkill, requesting to be designated driver for his big daddy, and getting jealous when others give his big daddy attention.
by UncleFesterLove July 5, 2024
Get the Uncle Festermug. the performance of felatio on a flaccid penis through the time it become erect and until completion.
Troy: Hilary woke me up to the an uncle noodle!
David: So I guess you can say you started your day off on the right foot.
Troy: dude shut your corny ass up
David: So I guess you can say you started your day off on the right foot.
Troy: dude shut your corny ass up
by RanchOnEverythang July 8, 2016
Get the uncle noodlemug. Person 1: "Whos tightened that up? "
Person 2: "Garth's uncle!"
Or
When tigheting something:
Person "Garth it!"
Person 2: "Garth's uncle!"
Or
When tigheting something:
Person "Garth it!"
by Mr.Lamb22 February 26, 2024
Get the Garth's Unclemug. Repetitive Boundary breaking.
Manipulative blame displacement.
Blatant disrespect.
Assumes everyone possesses his caliber of ignorance.
Manipulative blame displacement.
Blatant disrespect.
Assumes everyone possesses his caliber of ignorance.
by Sunshine4750 September 5, 2024
Get the Uncle Ray’s Waysmug. by Ass cracker 56 January 4, 2024
Get the Pull an uncle Petermug. The uncle that always comes around, but no one is ever looking forward to seeing him. You always make sure he doesn’t get the invite to family gatherings and such, but somehow, he always finds a way
Hey man, this is a really great BBQ so far, hopefully your sisters side of the family doesn’t make it though. I know my kids would hate to see Uncle Sak
by BaggageClaimBoys February 10, 2022
Get the Uncle Sakmug.