Definition:
A caffeine-powered computer whisperer who walks the line between genius and glitch. Damian “Long Shlong” Wood isn’t just a man—he’s a chaotic event wearing human skin. He speaks fluent binary, communes with frogs for wisdom, and believes any disaster can be solved if you just Megazord it.
Profile:
Tech Wizard: Fixes computers by glaring at them until the motherboard apologizes. Once coded a working game using only a keyboard missing the “E.”
Frog Lore Scholar: Claims frogs hold the Wi-Fi password of the universe—and somehow everyone believes him.
Megazord Philosopher: His life motto: “When it’s broken, just Megazord it.” Nobody knows what that means, yet it always works.
Professional Gooner: Operates on pure focus and unholy energy; rumored to have transcended sleep during a 72-hour code-and-Red Bull marathon.
Personality:
Chaotically evil in the most helpful way possible. He’ll repair your router, but it’ll play frog croaks on startup afterward. The man radiates the aura of an overclocked raccoon who discovered enlightenment and decided to major in IT.
Legacy:
Some say he was born when a lightning bolt struck a USB hub; others think he’s a firmware update that gained consciousness. Either way, Damian “Long Shlong” Wood remains a walking reminder that science, chaos, and frog memes can coexist.
A caffeine-powered computer whisperer who walks the line between genius and glitch. Damian “Long Shlong” Wood isn’t just a man—he’s a chaotic event wearing human skin. He speaks fluent binary, communes with frogs for wisdom, and believes any disaster can be solved if you just Megazord it.
Profile:
Tech Wizard: Fixes computers by glaring at them until the motherboard apologizes. Once coded a working game using only a keyboard missing the “E.”
Frog Lore Scholar: Claims frogs hold the Wi-Fi password of the universe—and somehow everyone believes him.
Megazord Philosopher: His life motto: “When it’s broken, just Megazord it.” Nobody knows what that means, yet it always works.
Professional Gooner: Operates on pure focus and unholy energy; rumored to have transcended sleep during a 72-hour code-and-Red Bull marathon.
Personality:
Chaotically evil in the most helpful way possible. He’ll repair your router, but it’ll play frog croaks on startup afterward. The man radiates the aura of an overclocked raccoon who discovered enlightenment and decided to major in IT.
Legacy:
Some say he was born when a lightning bolt struck a USB hub; others think he’s a firmware update that gained consciousness. Either way, Damian “Long Shlong” Wood remains a walking reminder that science, chaos, and frog memes can coexist.
by geggregmed October 16, 2025
Get the Damian "long shlong" Woodmug. A group of men, specifically studs. With huge, massive rods. Get every single chick dripping wet. One member is known as being a “pussy hound”
Wow, the three woods are so fucking hot! Stacey fucked ALL of them multiple times. Especially that one, PUSSY HOUND!
by Pussy hound July 10, 2022
Get the Three Woodsmug. Logan woods is a pretty amazing shy sweet guy. You will never be able to explain how you feel about him, to anyone. He probably doesn't know how you feel about him yet, don't be afraid to tell him! He sends mixed messages and isn't ever sure of his feelings. One day he will be wanting to be with you then one day he's with another girl. Logan woods will always want to know where you are and what your doing, he is a very sweet protective guy. He is very easy going and relaxed when it comes to heated situations. DONT BE A BITCH. He wIll act laid back but is still sensitive and will be hurt.
Me: Logan woods is shy but very confident!
Friend: do you know him?
Me: of course I do.
Friend: I cant believe it, he's so amazing.
Friend: do you know him?
Me: of course I do.
Friend: I cant believe it, he's so amazing.
by Yupyupyupyup February 15, 2015
Get the logan woodsmug. 
He is what has 3 legs but walks on 2, he is HIM, the one and only. He gets all the bitches. The man we all look at in aw
by GesusWithA"G" November 8, 2023
Get the Aiden Volk Woodmug. by meisafairy February 15, 2020
Get the wood mushroomsmug. Those creepy figurines in your grandparent's apartment that they've collected from God knows where in Africa.
by Nobody10012992 March 3, 2017
Get the wood peoplemug.