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couldn't find his ass with two hands

Someone who does not have a clue about what is going on around them. A person that has to have jokes explained to them. Even worse, someone that acts as if they don't understand something even when they understand perfectly.
That jerkoff Devlin couldn't find his ass with two hands .
by dempsey4mk July 10, 2006
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Don't let the door hit you on the ass

This means the same thing as, "Beat it," or, "Get the hell outta here," or, "Yeah, the door is this way, pal."
When Wayne's job interview was going poorly and he had a fight with the interviewer, the interviewer kindly asked him to leave by saying, "Yeah, Don't let the door hit you on the ass, buddy."
by Billthrill1 April 21, 2007
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Get Your Thumb Out of Your Ass

...And help, you lazy fuck!

Getting your thumb out of your ass means to stop wasting time doing nothing when you've got shit to do.
"Ugh, I hate English. It's so boring!"
"Yeah, well this is a Group Project, so you're not the only one one whose neck is on the line. So get your thumb out of your ass and help, you lazy fuck!"
by A Lazy Fuck May 1, 2010
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sad fat ass hippo lookin bitch

when someone looks like a sad fat ass hippo lookin bitch.
ian and ashley be lookin like a sad fat ass hippo lookin bitch
by sad fat ass March 15, 2019
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STOMP A MUDHOLE IN SOMEONE'S ASS & WALK IT DRY

to kick the Bejesus out of somebody; to physically decimate or shred an individual.
When the tizzun referred to me as his "beeyotch," I stomped a mudhole in his ass and walked it dry.
by weave October 7, 2003
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