New Jersey - Part 4

Part 4 of my 5178 character essay on how amazing NJ is. We left off with the Jonas Brothers in our list of amazing famous people from NJ. We continue withDavid Copperfield, Donald Fagen, Jesse Eisenberg, Jim Miller, Dennis Rodman, Antonin Scallia, Amy Locane, E.J. Barthel, Vini Lopez, Bill Moyers, Anthony Stolarz, Allen Ginsburg, Gaetano Bresci, Larry Doby, Malcolm Forbes, Bruce Vilanch, THE HAPPY FITS (my second-favorite band), Katherine Renee Shindle, Lauren Schmetterling, Julie Anne Robbenhymer, Jessie Paege, Mark Blum, Cissy Houston, Gary Lewis, THE LIST. GOES. FUCKING. ON. We know what REAL pizza is, what a REAL bagel is, what a REAL TOMATO is. No, California doesn't have good tomatoes. Californian tomatoes are FUCKING BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S TOMATOES ARE BULLSHIT. Y'ALL'S BAGELS.. THEY'RE FUCKING BULLSHIT. YOUR PIZZA?! I'll spell it out. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Except for our next door neighbor New York, you have good pizza. We'll give you that. Go to my profile for part 5 i promise it's up these were all posted in the same like 10 mins.

That is the end of New Jersey - Part 4 lol bitches

by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022

New Jersey - Part 6

Last part, part 6 of how amazing NJ is which I can't put all in 1 part because of the character limit.I feel like you're about to say "Oh this guy talks so much about jersey" Yes. I talk about Jersey. I FUCKING LOVE JERSEY. IT'S MY STATE. Our state motto would be "Unwarranted Confidence, Unlimited Attitude." WE LOVE OUR STATE. WE ARE PROUD LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS AND WE WILL STAY LIKE THAT. Also yes we have very amazing school system, better than something like Alabama's or Idaho's, we keep our state not smelly (granted, part of the GS parkway can get smelly but that space takes up like 5% of the state, which is not much.) Also yes Toyota is pretty much the only car you see. We have a very high Asian Population (That includes countries that aren't china btw) and we probably have at least 90% of all the emo kids in the country.
I have a lot more to say about our amazing state but I'm getting tired of typing and I've spent like almost an hour on this shit, so bye bitches i might make a continuation with parts 7-12 sometime if I get really bored but don't expect me to.

That's the end of New Jersey - Part 6 (and the end of this huge ass thing)

by Stroughbries2763 September 3, 2022

Jersey Triathlon

When you Fill a CamelBak with Miller Lite, take a Bump of Booger Sugar in Asbury Park, run south down the boardwalk, take a dump in Belmar, and arrive in Beach Haven slam three Jäger-bombs, rent a jet ski and cruise down to Ocean City. Chug 3 local IPA’s of your choice and commandeer a Sightseer Tram. Puke and Rally in Any Wildwood. Arrive in Cape May all before you listen to the entire Album “Born in the U.S.A.” By Bruce Springsteen and finish your CamelBak.

Me the gents were listening to “The Boys Are Back in Town” and just decided to go crush a Jersey Triathlon. Woke up with jet ski keys in my pocket, not sure where the ski is.

by Michael Delvechio July 30, 2022

New Jersey Nut Shot

When you fuck a girl with your balls and stick your dick in her belly button

Bro I had whiskey dick so I just hit her with the New Jersey Nut Shot

by MFa3 August 13, 2025

New Jersey Fart Missile

A sexual act where a man shoves a dildo backwards into his ass crack backwards and piles up farts so the pressure shoots it out like a rocket, then it shoots into a females mouth

My homeboy gave me a New Jersey Fart Missile and I enjoyed it very much

by New Jersey Homeboy October 14, 2025

South Jersey Suck 'N Fuck

Using your fist, you prolapse your sexual partners anus, then give said prolapsed anus a blowy.

Fuck you bro, I gave your sister a good old fashioned South Jersey Suck 'N Fuck last night.

by Bbslimm January 4, 2021

New Jersey Blumpkin Patch

When a person giving an upper deckie is receiving a blumpkin from another person taking a shit in the toilet.

Person 1: what you get up to last night?

Person 2: I walked in on Erik and Walter doing a New Jersey Blumpkin Patch in the upstairs bathroom at work.

Person 1: Not a NJBP!! That shit crazy!!!

by LazerCat July 17, 2025