Agenda-based metrics

Facts and figures presented in a manner to force people to a specific conclusion vice forming their own opinion.

His agenda-based metrics don't allow you to consider any other possibilities!

by Shputz August 23, 2011

Metric fuck ton

Exactly 42,069 pounds, calculated to be the best measurement produced by the metric system.

That is a metric fuck ton of shit!!

by Gooberdiesel October 30, 2025

Metric

Positive remark; similar to cool or awesome but better

pizza? that's metric as fuck bro.

by metricasfuckthough August 20, 2018

Metric fuck load

Precisely 69,420 kilograms typically delivered by rail cart.some by road train

Boss, we are low on aggregate. (Boss) “ next load coming through order a metric fuck load”

by Gooberdiesel October 30, 2025

Afety Metrics

An extremely stupid game, consisting of one person farting, then quickly saying 'Afety' before the other person can say 'Doorknob'. If the other person says 'Doorknob' within that small window of time,they can punch the aforementioned person in the arm, without any retaliation, until that person touches a doorknob.

<Poot!> "Doorknob!"
"Ow! Quit hittin' me!"
"You Gotta touch a doorknob!"
"Allright, fine, whatever."
That's a door HANDLE! It has to be a KNOB!" etc...
-Afety Metrics

by Genormous June 14, 2022

Metric Shitload

A unit of measurement, greater than a shit-ton, but less than a fuckton.

I can't get a job at the hospital here, this is a college town and there's a metric shitload of pre-med students applying there.

by theOneandOnlyNightHawk June 4, 2018

metrically handicapped

1. To describe someone that has a condition that causes them to be unable to understand SI units of measurement (colloquially referred as "Metric System").

This affliction has been historically endemic in regions of North America, Western Africa and Southeastern Asia.

When I told her I was 1.7 metres tall she stared at me in shock. Later I found out that sadly she's metrically handicapped.

by Preguiça não tem fim April 1, 2021