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Squelch-Meter

The Squelch-Meter is the only accurate way to measure a woman's pussy squelch. The meter goes from 1-10. Pussies with a squelch of 1 have dry ass, Sahara desert pussies. Pussies with a squelch of 10 have wet, drippy, Niagara Falls pussies. A 10 is the best score, but pussies with a squelch of 6 and up are acceptable. The squelch is more important than any other rating a woman can receive.
"Damn bro, Sydney's pussy was a fuckin' 4 on the Squelch-Meter. I'm never hooking up with that bitch again."
by vivsnake August 31, 2021
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The Dick Meter

A measurement tool to express how much something sucks.
Wow! On the dick meter that test sucked all the way to the balls.

Damn Son!! That other team took the shaft on the dick meter. They only lost by 7, but hey, a loss is a loss.
by Chuck Gallagher January 13, 2008
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quiche-o-meter

A unit of measurement that can encompass anything, and any breadth. Anything you can possibly conceive of can be used on the quiche-o-meter, however the most commonly used scales range from David Hasselhoff to Chuck Norris (or any other kind of b-grade actor, or washed up star you can think of).

The idea of the universal Quiche-O-Meter was first conceived by a group of Melbournian Uni students who came to the realisation that their cafe served quite shocking quiches. This in turn led to the realisation that anything in the world can be defined as good or bad when compared to different types of quiches as well as to different types of actors. i.e. Chuck Norriss will score higher than David Hasselhoff, but William Shattner will score higher again.
'That's a David Hasselhoff on the Quiche-O-Meter!"
by Pamela March 3, 2005
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van meter

The school who cheats in every Iowa highschool sport.
Guy #1 - “Wow bro Van Meter beat Madrid by 50”
Guy #2 - “Yeah they probably cheated, those waukee rejects
by YourMom524 December 19, 2018
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Penis O'Meter

A device used to spot a mans tiny ass dick from a mile away.
"Jeniffer, did u get the Penis O'Meter".

"Nope"
"Then u gunna get raped by some creepy ass mofo with a dick so small u can't even c it"
by Snuggle Mungle March 29, 2015
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Fuck-O-Meter

A machine that tells how many fucks that person has given.

Example:
Guy 1: Hey man I got a 100% on the test! 😁😁
Guy 2: Ok
Guy 2: I alsooo, got a girlfriend....
Guy 1: I give... zero fucks.
*Fuck-o-meter comfirms zero fucks given*
Fuck you Urban Dictonary Im not givin another example. Urban Dictonary I don’t give one fuck about needing to define it here but fuck it. Fuck-O-Meter
by Fuck You Definition Readers April 15, 2018
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Star Meter

How cool someone is. Taken from IMDB.
My boy Rob hooked up with some fat chick. His star meter is way down.
by Freezee C August 31, 2007
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