These are the Four Sacred Truths of The Big-Booty Bottom Bitch himself, Daddy Jakeypoo.
Thou doth handcuffs thyself to thine bedpost during the act of sexual intercourse
His Daddyness doest enjoy ins'rting a dildo into his rampallian during amorous rite
The divine Daddyness doth also enjoyeth the reception of intercourse through the floppy pocket pussy whilst handcuffed to thine holy bedpost
Thine most holiest of Phat Cocks hast been reveal’d to us unworthy mortals as uncircumcised with curdles of thine most delicious cheese held within
For every house party, a role must be filled to maintain the sacred balance of the almighty Lauren’s Bisexuality. It is a force that balances the Sexaul Force as we know it. For every house party there must be a Lauren, for whom the others shall balance. With the Four Sacred Truths, Lauren fulfills her Straight lust. This lust, however, must be tempered and balanced by the passionate embrace of a Darcey, whom penetrates her with the Phat Cock Dildo of Lesbian Love. Just as there are Four Sacred Truths, so too must there be a forth person in the ritual, an Evalina. The Evalina is but a mere cuck that sits in the corner and observes the ritual, furling their own desires from a distance, this gives the Bisexuality an exit from the ritual and disperses the lust out into the universe, thus completing the The Holy Canon of The Leicester House Party.
Thou doth handcuffs thyself to thine bedpost during the act of sexual intercourse
His Daddyness doest enjoy ins'rting a dildo into his rampallian during amorous rite
The divine Daddyness doth also enjoyeth the reception of intercourse through the floppy pocket pussy whilst handcuffed to thine holy bedpost
Thine most holiest of Phat Cocks hast been reveal’d to us unworthy mortals as uncircumcised with curdles of thine most delicious cheese held within
For every house party, a role must be filled to maintain the sacred balance of the almighty Lauren’s Bisexuality. It is a force that balances the Sexaul Force as we know it. For every house party there must be a Lauren, for whom the others shall balance. With the Four Sacred Truths, Lauren fulfills her Straight lust. This lust, however, must be tempered and balanced by the passionate embrace of a Darcey, whom penetrates her with the Phat Cock Dildo of Lesbian Love. Just as there are Four Sacred Truths, so too must there be a forth person in the ritual, an Evalina. The Evalina is but a mere cuck that sits in the corner and observes the ritual, furling their own desires from a distance, this gives the Bisexuality an exit from the ritual and disperses the lust out into the universe, thus completing the The Holy Canon of The Leicester House Party.
by DaddyDextive April 20, 2021

by Barry my cockinher June 18, 2022

Da most popular light-classical selection dat da local fast-food joint plays over their Muzak speakers.
I love soft chamber-music as much as anyone, but it can still get a trifle tiresome hearing dat same cloyingly-sweet-toned Tacobell Canon in D played at least once over da diner's PA-system on every occasion while I'm chowing down my favorite lunch.
by QuacksO April 11, 2019

by Riot strike June 16, 2020

A absolute Masterpiece. She is kind, beautiful, and has an amazing personality. She always wants to make you feel better when your not at your best. She is the kind of person you can never take for granted. Enjoy every moment you have with her while it last. I have never meet an as amazing person as her. <3
by Shehdbdb November 20, 2021

When you are finger blasting the hell out of a nice piece of vagina and they squirt all over the place like a water canon
Being defined that splatter canon could put out a fire and save possibly save us from future bush fires.
by Sackapetela January 5, 2017

Canonical Lori is just the best if they have it in their Instagram name and act like a mum to you you gotta love it also she’s just awesome
by maddyjpg May 21, 2021
