ninja

I gathered some facts about them:

Ninja don't sweat.

Bullets can't kill a ninja.

Ninja invented skateboarding

Only a ninja can kill a ninja. Regular humans are useless.

Ninja never wear headbands with the word "ninja" printed on them.

Ninja can breath underwater anytime they want.

Ninja can change clothes in less than 1 second.

Ninja don't smoke, but they do use smoke bombs.

Ninja always land on their feet. If they don't have feet they will land on their nubs.

Ninja invented the internet.

Ninja don't eat or drink very much, and they never have to go to the bathroom.

Ninja always move to America when making a new start as a non-assassin.

Ninja don't play sports. Unless killing is a sport.

Ninja can crush golfballs with 2 fingers, any two fingers.

Ninja have a bad temper when they lose at anything. They will usually cut off the winners head before they have time to gloat.

Ninja lie all the time. Even when the truth serves better, ninja will lie anyway.

Ninja swords are always straight with a square handle guard. Always. Curves are for girls.

Lack any personality

Wear headbands

Fight skillfully with any object

Can remove a spleen in one swift motion

Live in your house secretly for days

Can remove their shadow if needed

Hurl shurikens

Go anywhere they want instantly

Catch bullets in their teeth

Kill themselves if they make a noise

Can run 100 miles on their hands

Train 20 hours/day starting from age 2

Have cool words like Seppuku

Are masters of disguise

Can hover for hours

Flip out and kill everything

Are completely self-sufficient.

Split planks vertically with their nose

Can hide in incense smoke

Kill people.

Ninjas are the best guitar players. Ever.

Ninjas do NOT wear spandex.

A Samurai is NOT a ninja.

Dragon Ball Z characters are NOT ninjas.

If you see a ninja, he is NOT a ninja.

Some guy: "Ninjas are totally sweet"
Some other guy: "True true"

by sam paulin September 5, 2005

Weed Ninja

A pot head, with enough years of experience and ability to camouflage him(her)self as a non-stoner amongst coworkers and/or society.

Dude! Did you know Joe, from work, gets high every night?

No way! I could never see him being a stoner.

Yeah man, he's such a Weed Ninja.

by Shamanax February 3, 2012

Quim Ninja

a sexual athelete, (male) one who is really on top of his game

i came eight times, he was real quim ninja

by Anonymous October 7, 2003

Camera Ninja

A practitioner of the ancient art of Camera Ninjutsu, the art requires the martial arts sneak into every photo unnoticed and hiding in the background. When becoming a Camera Ninja the fighter must partake in a blood oath swearing that they will be in a photo everytime one is taken in their vicinity, if the oath is broken it will require some form of Seppuku but using a Camera instead of a knife. Camera Ninjas have super ninja powers, such as the ability to sense the moment a camera is lifted, predicting the best angle with the current lighting, super speed to get to the picture in time and many more. Camera Ninjutsu can also be fought as a sport (known to some as Shotokan Camera Ninjutsu) in the sport the fighters are given points based on the style of their Ninjutsu; extra points being given for proper attire (E.g GIs, Camera Lens Shurikens, Tripod Bo Staff etc). While not fully acknowledged by the Camera Ninja Elders, Shotokan Camera Ninjutsu is quite popular in Japan, China, Laos, The Russian Federation, Wales, Botswana and England. While it was not featured in the more recent Olympics, word has it that it might feature in the next as a new sport.

Sam: Dude is that a Ninja in the back of our photo
Kris: Camera Ninja actually, those guys are sneaky motherfuckers.

by Nex Solo December 8, 2010

Filthy Ninja

A covert activity which involves sneaking into a room where a couple of people are engaged in love making, then jerking off to the live show, undetected of course.

Last night I caught Paul bangin' his bitch in my bedroom so I pulled the filthy ninja on em'.

by The Odor January 10, 2006

Masturbation Ninja

One who can masturbate/masturbates everywhere they have gone/are without fear of being caught, with any object, without being seen, heard, or others having suspicion of the action of masturbation, any where, any time, and any place.

Student #1: Hey man, I whacked off in biology today.
Student #2: HOLY HELL! Did you get caught?
Student #1: Hell no I didn't, I am a freaking Masturbation Ninja.
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Guy #1: I jizzed all over my friends moms bra last night while he was in the same room.
Guy #2: What!? He didn't see you?
Guy #1: Shit no, he was sleeping.
Guy #2: Good thing you're a Masturbation Ninja.
Guy #1: Damn right.

by gregmastersensai November 20, 2009

Ninja Fish

Someone who is very sneaky, like a ninja, yet smooth, like a fish swimming

An actual fish wearing ninja clothes, usually a goldfish.

"Oh man, you snuck up on me, like a ninja fish!"

"Tony:Why did you dress up you goldfish in ninja clothes-its gonna die.
Danny: Yea but i own a ninja fish"

by Danny915 January 13, 2009