Landover Baptist

A fantastic parody site that pokes fun at ultra-conservative fundamentalist Christians.

Recent articles include "The Pope's Message From Hell" and "Inside the Sick Mind of George Lucas."

Hilarious, but also disturbing due to the fact that there are people out there who would probably wholeheartedly agree with the majority of the material on this site.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

Francis bought a "Love Me or Burn!" Jesus button from the Landover Baptist Store.

by camry July 16, 2008

St. John the Baptist DHS

Catholic High School on Long Island, close to the Great South Bay. Known for its athletics along with increasingly high SAT scores. In the summer Gilgo beach is 75 percent people who go to or who have gone to St. Johns. Most kids lean towards the "preppy" side of style, but there are a few punks, guidos, and rapper-wannabes thrown in too. Social heiarchy is a major part of the school, but usually students find thier own nook in the first year. The teachers, with the exception of the math department, are helpful and knowledgeable. The rules may seem strict if you have previously gone to public school, but most of them pertain to the uniform, and if you don't screw that up majorly, you can pretty much get away with anything. St. Johns is one of the only Catholic schools on LI that still has a senior prom. Save up for the senior trip to disney too. The spicy chicken sandwich in the cafeteria is awesome.

"I was at gilgo yesterday, and saw 50 people I knew from school, because we all go to St. John the Baptist DHS."

by coolio90000 September 12, 2009

Baptist Virgin

A southern woman belonging to really any conservative, Christian faith who, to maintain her virginity, has only anal and oral sex rather than vaginal penetration.

Drew said, "I tapped her in the ass last night, but she wouldn't let me rip her pussy walls...she is such a Baptist Virgin".

by EloiseWuvs420 January 16, 2010

Southern Baptist

A sect of Protestant Christianity in the south east United States that are known for their very Caucasian congregations, believe in the absolute word by word truth of the King James version of the Bible, and perpetuate themselves by having their deacons find replacement preachers that will not disturb their fundamentalist and far-right theology. Sect is characterized by rampant hypocrisy, prejudice, racial intolerance, bigotry, small-mindedness, and an unenlightened view of the world and social change.

Waspish country clubs without the tennis courts.

My uncle was a Southern Baptist preacher. He hated Jews, blacks, gays, and anyone on welfare; but he preached that Jesus loved everyone.

by Bill Garnett July 22, 2004

Baptist First Time

When a nice Baptist girl waits until her wedding night to have sex, only to find that her hymen has solidified and her nice Baptist boy is unable to penetrate her. After the embarrassment, awkwardness, and doubt subsides, she is forced to go have a doctor surgically "pop her cherry." This concludes the Baptist First Time.

*Any form of conservative dogma that is cuckoo about premarital sex can be substituted for Baptist.

Nice Baptist Boy's Friend: "Yo dude, your wife was a virgin, right? That's hot! How was she?"

Nice Baptist Boy: "We had a Baptist First Time. She was un-enter-able."

Nice Baptist Boy's Friend: "Ouchhhh. That's balls, man."

Nice Baptist Boy: "Yeah, the doctor got to have all the fun."

by CMKTBH January 8, 2010

Baptise That Ass

Pulling out and blowing your load all over a female's ass after having sex in the doggystle position.

Suppose you see a fine woman walk by with a nice ass, you can say, " Damn baby girl, I wanna baptise that ass" or "Hey baby, why don't you come back to my crib and I'll baptise that ass".

by Your Reverend August 4, 2006

River Oaks Baptist girls

really hot girls who are hotter then all the fat-legged kinkaid, st. johns, and first pres. girls put together!!!

st. johns guy: whoa look at that fine girl over there!!

st johns guy 2: yea she goes to river oaks baptist! they're all like that!

by la June 28, 2004