Phone captain

Someone who's your good friend/best friend on the phone, but can't be bothered meeting up face to face to chill or have tea/coffee together.

Pretty much anyone, anyone that's a good friend on the phone, but cbf/is not interested in catching up face to face.

George: Hey Mike, I spoke to Tony on the phone, he often sounds like a good friend, but yet either can't be bothered catching up or else keeps lying to me that we'll catch up face to face?

Mike: Dude, that's a "phone captain".

George: What's a phone captain?

Mike: Like "keyboard warrior", except much nicer of course!

by Fair Care - Care Fair :) October 12, 2016

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Captain Shartacus

A man who can't help but shit himself

Hey man are u captain Shartacus??
Yeah bro, didn't you know!

by ULTIMATE October 25, 2016

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captain guyliner

an awesome guy that gets a 10/10 on time management in art. also has eyeliner for men. guyliner. and is a captain of all things dirty. captain. captain guyliner.

"Yo did you see that guy walk past?"

"Yeah that was Captain Guyliner."

by Band Dork 2k19 November 15, 2016

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captain sarcasm

The arch-enemy of Captain Obvious, because unlike him, Captain Sarcasm just answers a stupid question with a rather crude or not sarcastic way. Or just simply states facts in a sarcastic way.

Stupid guy: "If I get bitten by a venomous spider, will I die?"
Captain Sarcasm: "No, you'll become Spider-Man."

Stupid guy: "How will my post card be delivered to my mom "by sea"?"
Cap. Sarcasm: "Swimming, obviously".

Stupid guy: "Do you need to use the bathroom?"
Cap. Sarcasm: *holding his crotch* "No, I need to go to the library and read a book".

by DiogoAttitude November 22, 2016

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