Jesus Christing 

verb. Non-secular. tying one's sexual partner to a cross with a crown of razorwire or other prickly objects while preforming fellatio to them

"Man, did you see those two Jesus Christing last night? I wish they'd close their blinds."

Jesus Christing by aigle March 14, 2020

jesus didn't take the wheel 

1) the term someone uses when something bad happens
2) what you say after you crashed your car

1) cordelia, "omg why is there a g-string on your roof?"
akmed,"lets just say that jesus didn't take the wheel."

2)officer,"sir how did the crash happen?"
randum guy,"jesus didn't take the weel."

jesus didn't take the wheel by boodylishous chick November 22, 2010

Jesús Gonzalez 

Its the less offensive version of Jesus Christ

It's the Crap to Shit

The Dang to Damn

Monica:"Jesús Gonzalez those shoes are beautiful!!"

Lindsey:"Yeah I know, originally $1250 but they were 75% off at Dillards so, they were only like $312.50"

Monica : "OMG you practically stole those shoes!!"

Jesús Gonzalez by jhanna14 December 10, 2011

Jesus Martinez 

A fucking dumbass that has no sense of humor and thinks that he is the best person in the world.

"Do you know a Jesus Martinez?
"Yeah I do."
" Oh damn, I feel bad for you now."

Jesus Martinez by Funsized Table May 31, 2018

jesus freak 

Someone who thinks you can make jesus cool, thinks christian rock is cool, or thinks anything else that is uncool is cool. Also someone who thinks they are cool because they don't "care" if we think they suck for going to church, and are all smug about jesus. Without a doubt the person right above me. Look he thinks praying is some kind of weapon he can save us with ha!

Jesus Freak: I don't care what you say, jesus is cool!

Kool guy: Look at that freak! Girls laugh at him!

Hot Girl: Wow Kool guy your really hot! But that jesus freak is making me sick lets go somewhere and make out!

Kool Guy: Kool!

jesus freak by Stan Lightsaber July 30, 2008

Jesus Freak 

A Jesus Freak is someone like me! ; a freak who loves Jesus!!!:D WOOOO!

Friend: much happen this weekend?
Jesus Freak: met Jesus!
Friend: o, so ur like a Jesus Freak or sumin?
Jesus Freak: yep, a freaky jesus freak :D
Friend: - I can tollerate u being a christian, but dont b tryin to convert me n stuff ;P
Jesus Freak: ha-yer,dont worry -its ur choice if u ever wanna ask me anything
Friend: fat chance! :D

Jesus Freak by TheJesusFreak January 23, 2009

Jesus take the wheel 

This is for all the religious fanatics who, when finding themselves in a tough situation, have a tendency to let a swear word or to slip. This phrase helps when tempted to do wrong.

Person 1: Did you really just crash the car?!?
Person 2: Yeah...
Person 1: Ohhhhh myyyy gJesus take the wheel!!!!!!!!!!!

Jesus take the wheel by hutillymonopumtolarodo April 24, 2009