jesus stick

Jesus Stick. noun. Slang name for you old fella/one eye trouser snake/pork sergeant/penis.

Hey love, do you wanna go for a ride on my jesus stick.

by Kiwi_Tristan August 25, 2005

Jesus Christ

An exclamation on par with "holy shit!" "What the hell?!"

*something crazy happens*
John: "Jesus Christ! What just happened?!

by ZahhakNJ September 23, 2016

the jesus man

that scary guy that stnads round skipton tellin you that jesus loves u n forces u into taking a leaflet

scary guy: jesus loves u
me: does he!?!
scary guy: yes here take a leaflet
me: but uve already given me about 20

by emma101 April 10, 2005

jesus fries

When a person shits in the toilet, and the shit pieces float (or fall) together to make a cross, which the shitter than proceeds to worship. Or, if they do not believe in Christianity or God, they curse their shit pieces and proceed to claim their own one true prophet See Mormon Fries.

And behold, there in the water, was the one true magic, the very source of my worship...

Jesus Fries?

You're goddamn right, Jesus Fries, baby!

by Trevor Whitecliff February 12, 2008

Jesus Christ

A worthy apponent to Chuck Norris

Jesus Christ and Chuck Norris should fight!

by Loser XY October 20, 2008

Pulling A Jesus

Drinking with the intention of getting drunk/plastered/shit faced

Guy 1: Dude what are you doing tonite
Guy 2: Man i had a shitty day so im just gonna be Pulling a jesus

by Cum 5 (2007-08) April 27, 2008

White Jesus

The false depiction of Jesus Christ that appears in paintings and all different types of media. Most people don't know the fact that Jesus in reality was an ancient Palestinian Jew. He wasn't the handsome white guy that's portrayed in movies and artwork.

It's that awkward moment when the Ku Klux Klan and all the racist Christians find out that the White Jesus they've been worshipping is actually a Middle Eastern Arab and not white at all.

by Nordicdragon June 27, 2018