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The Ella Theory

when you’re the straightest of the group but have a thing for a woman named zooey or you’re in a discord group that watches movies BUT NEVER JOINS IN TO WATCH THE MOVIES!!!
you’ve also been kicked out of faniston twitter 😏
The Ella Theory is honestly the most unproblematic and most simple theory!
by fanistonnn March 13, 2022
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The Austin Bock Theory

When no one actually likes a person but only stays friends or befriends them because they think everyone else likes them, when in reality no one likes them.
Adjective
“No one actually likes Austin , he’s a narcissistic, selfish, self centred, so far up his own ass dickhead who thinks he’s so important, the only reason people are friends with him is because they think everyone else likes him, it’s the Austin Bock theory!” It means he needs to be humbled because no one likes him
by Heidi😭 January 3, 2024
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Batman Shirt Theory

Description

Any person who is seen wearing a batman shirt in the public setting has a tendency to be automatically perceived as a threat by mentally ill persons, specifically those with a co-morbid diagnoses of schizophrenia, paranoid type, and psychopathy.

Joker-perpetrator

The joker has paranoid delusions rooted around the thought that the person wearing the batman shirt is some morally authoritative figure trying to restrict the joker's rights for the purpose of maintaining justice. The joker has a natural tendency towards attention seeking behaviors, impulsivity, and sadism.

The Hero-batman fan

Realistically, the hero is more often than not a passive idealist with fantasies of being this "morally authoritative figure" or hero. These beliefs tend to escalate to the extent of grandiose delusions, specifically during times of increased stress. Such persons experience a significant tendency towards being involved with conflict, especially with the joker and personalities alike.

Batman/Joker Conflict

The hero and the joker experience severe emotional and psychological restlessness, arising from their different attitudes. The hero favors fairness and stability whereas the joker prefers selfish gratification and chaos. The grandiose delusions of the hero and the paranoid delusions of the joker conflict with each other, resulting in escalating conflict all influenced by a simple shirt.
Batman Shirt Theory Example:

A. The hero with the batman shirt experiences grandiose delusions that he is obligated to solve every conflict in order to promote fairness and justice.

B. The joker sees the batman shirt and experiences paranoid delusions of oppression that restricts his individuality.

C. I may be delusional for making a case out of this. Point is, you can rationalize anything...
by lhukmai October 20, 2012
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Dog Engagement Theory

The system of ideas behind dog engagement theory suggests that there is a net positive benefit from interacting with others as if they were dogs. From playful banter to teasing and trolling, the behaviors that bring about joy in dogs will also bring about joy in fellow humans - especially romantic partners. This stems from the belief that most take life too seriously and do not wish to risk awkward moments in pursuit of genuine and fun interactions. Those who subscribe to dog engagement theory are viewed as comedic and charismatic socializers in any setting and can turn any gathering into an enjoyable hangout.
Amanda: “You guys should invite Matt to the party! He’s such a funny guy.”

Steve: “Yea sure, but am I not funny too?”

Amanda: “Kind of. But Matt is just so charismatic and playful. I think he follows dog engagement theory so that’s why he’s better.”

Steve: “I don’t think I can compete with him then.”

Amanda: “You’re right Steve. I think we should both see other men.”
by scarlet_alliance February 25, 2024
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The Ceren Theory

when you can’t decide if you want an actor *dead or alive* as a family member or someone you want to *redacted* you! 😫 examples include : cary grant or jennifer aniston.

or you just like using this 😏 emoji.
god I think The Ceren Theory has gotten to me!!!
by fanistonnn March 13, 2022
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Theory

That's a pretty stupid theory
by RandomLoser123 January 12, 2021
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Marshall's Theory

The width of an individual female breast defined as the circumference of their arm times by 1.5
Friend: Using Marshall's Theory, those knockers are around 17cm each

Friend 2: Dang bro, How'd you figure?
by ThunderSh0w3r September 17, 2022
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