best laid plans

The full phrase is
"the best laid plans o' mice an' men gang aft agley"

This was written by an ancient Scots Poet, Robert Burns, who wrote several poems in a strange language, including "To a mouse".
"Gang aft agley" means "often get fucked up"

"best laid plans" is an acknowledgement that something has just got fucked up for no apparent reason, or because something inevitable (government, parents, teenage kid, fate, whatever) has acted against it.

Billy: Damn. Eight point buck just standing there. Gun aimed, ready to take the shot, I was so damn sure that I could take a piss without letting go of the gun. But I peed all down the front of my pants, the gun went off before I was ready, that scared the buck who ran right at me and kicked my ribs in.

Bobbette: you know what they say, honey, best laid plans and stuff. Now turn over and let me wipe your butt. Eeewwww!

by fronkzippo June 28, 2010

laid some pipe

When you get trucked in football or another contact sport

Damn dude, that guy just laid some pipe on you.

by pseudonym3333333333 January 3, 2014

Chat roulette laid

Basically like getting laid, but over chatroulette.com. Its like computer sex, but with a camera.

Guy1: Dude what did you do last night?
Guy2: Got chat roulette laid.
Guy1: Wow, loser. Trying getting laid in real life.

by Icemanrussian April 20, 2010

Got laid

When an actor l receives some money from their parents.

Dolly got laid on christmas. Her father was very generous.

by breakboy72 March 1, 2019

laid back

This guy named Burnett that I used to work with defines the concept of laid back.
As a matter of fact, he pretty much defines all the following words as well...
congenial, cool, easygoing, frank, low-pressure, mellow, natural, open, relaxed, unceremonious, unconstrained, urbane, without ceremony

A very cool guy to work with.

Wow! That guy is almost as laid back as Burnett!

by bugdog March 23, 2004

second hand laid

When a bro gets laid, and you talk about it like you got laid

Hey , did you hear michael got laid? So in a way I got second hand laid

by Dicksprinkles221 September 1, 2017

Laid on the cat's beanbag

The process of causing your eye to react in such away to pussy that it looks like a sideways vagina.

Shaun "laid on the cat's beanbag" and ended up with a picture on his phone that looked like a sideways vagina.

by MrPhilipsLikesGrease December 19, 2011