by Hettie123 September 25, 2020
Get the Emergent CEOmug. It's like an emergency shit, but it happens while your shopping. You'll usually have a cart full of items and the bathrooms are "conveniently" located on the other side of the registers so you have to leave your cart out in the open, hoping no employees take your cart and put your items back.
"I had to take an emergency shitstop at Menards. Parked my cart, "dropped the kids off at the pool", came back and my caRT WAS GONE!!!"
by Northern Hammer July 1, 2023
Get the emergency shitstopmug. Flask of hard liquor kept in Desk drawer at work to take the edge off for when the shit has hit the fan.
My boss had a heart attack and I have to take over all his work, and you're telling me the 66 page payment requisition that was just submitted is wrong and has to be completely redone today by 5pm???
'Yes and its 2:47'
Fuck...wheres the emergency flask...
'Yes and its 2:47'
Fuck...wheres the emergency flask...
by yougottabekidding February 21, 2011
Get the Emergency Flaskmug. A condition that certain clients will have, causing them to occasionally disregard their manners when contacting a sex worker in an attempt to schedule a booking. Individuals having a dick emergency will often not pay proper attention to screening instructions, will attempt to schedule same-day even if policies state that's not offered, and will sometimes even lose grasp of basic grammar.
ring ring
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click
by demergency July 8, 2019
Get the dick emergencymug. An emergency spliff (or emergency joint/blunt) is a spliff you didn't bother finish, so you put it in your pocket for when an emergency comes up, aka. a situation where you just need some high quality dank.
Dude: Oh man, we're going to the cinema to watch Sausage Party later, it sure would be nice with some dank right now
Bro: No worries, i've got an emergency spliff in my pocket!
Dude: Fuck yes
Bro: No worries, i've got an emergency spliff in my pocket!
Dude: Fuck yes
by GolfWang69 October 2, 2016
Get the Emergency Spliffmug. In the aftermath of a party, or other social event, the remnants of all of the opened beers (all different kinds) that were left lying around are poured into a gallon jug in case of a beer emergency.
by Urban Defender May 15, 2019
Get the Emergency beermug. When you're banging a chick from behind and she grabs your dick and yanks it up to her ass, similar to how one would engage a traditional parking brake on a car.
"Yeah so Im fucking this chick from behind, she yells "EMERGENCY BRAKE!" and next thing I know its in her ass!
by Denver Martini October 5, 2020
Get the Emergency Brakemug.