Crypt-keeper

(Noun) - A sexually-aggressive older woman (see "cougar and MILF"), now past the point of potential attractiveness/interest from her own potential conquests; usually identified by rail-thin body, over-exposing tight clothing, a cloud of expensive perfume (presumably to mask the odor of decay), tight facial skin that favors stretched plastic wrap, unblinking reptile-like eyes, and makeup that looks like it was applied by a Hollywood special-effects artist.

This reference is also due to the creature's innate horror-film-like ability to appear attractive from the rear, yet upon turning around they will immediately startle the other person; crypt-keepers are commonly known to be able to frighten small dogs and can cause babies to burst into tears.

"Whoa... she went from 'MILF' to 'cougar' to 'crypt-keeper' in a space of only three years!"

by GraysonoftheWood February 8, 2010

crypt

1. Place for the dead
2. Source of all good horror stories, as told by 'The Crypt Keeper'

1. When I die, put my body in a crypt.
2. "Bad evening, boils and ghouls! Tonight's terrifying tale of spooktacular woe comes straight from my home, the crypt."

by LORD HELL FEAR BLOOD March 18, 2003

Crypto-Staple

When someone hands you a large stack of paperwork to be copied, and doesn't tell you that there's stapled packets within the larger framework of unstapled paperwork, this is crypto-stapling. This, of course, causes the feeder to jam, make all sorts of loud noises, and make you look like a moron.

Damn it! Chuck gave me all these TPS reports, but there was a crypto-staple in there and it jammed the copier!

by Beetle482 April 25, 2008

Crapitol

Capitol High School. Rival of Olympia High School, North Thurston High School, and many more high schools in Washington. They think they're all that, but their sports teams are crap. Therefore called "Crapitol."

Crapitol lost AGAIN to North Thuston!" "We have to play Crapitol again? Can't they just accept defeat?!" "Dude, you play like Crapitol!

by moimoimoimoi December 6, 2010

crapitulation

Giving up and agreeing to something terrible because caring is hard.

Vivian's attempt to avoid Comic Sans in their press kit ended in crapitulation when it became clear that victory would involve meetings with management.

by sofauxboho November 2, 2011

Cryptochronicpelkalite

A girlfriend so perfect she is to hard to describe. She drives you crazy and you can't help but love her and want to wife her up.

My girl is on some next level cryptochronicpelkalite.

by Mason_nh July 19, 2017

cryptillionaire

Describes a person whose cryptocurrency holdings are equal or greater to that of a fiat million through conversion to the holders native currency

After successfully investing in Bitcoin she became a cryptillionaire.

by Happy Hodler January 29, 2019