whittling a wooden dick

to spend large amounts of time by yourself doing questionable ( homosexual) things.

Anybody seen Dale? He's probably in his shed whittling a wooden dick. A secret h-mo? You don't say.

by Jim Ridge March 21, 2023

wooden cradle

Coffin
Bed of death
Sleeping place for the dead
Unawakened

Arise from you wooden cradle.

by Dynamobeets February 9, 2021

wooden fireplace

Something that's completely unusable or effectively useless.

Something as useful as a chocolate teapot.

The phrase "eight people in a basement, huddled around a wooden fireplace" during a power failure originates with the Brockville Recorder & Times, a small-city daily newspaper, reporting on a major icestorm which hit eastern Ontario in Jan 1998. They followed up with another piece on a subsequent power fail which stated "when the insulator is open, the electricity leaks to the ground."

Don't quit your day jobs, kids.

by bitchuck October 5, 2024

Wooden Plank

The opposite of nimble. Normally this term is used in sports.

Teammate 1: That guy lost the ball as soon as we passed it to him wtf
Teammate 2: Yea don't pass to that wooden plank again

by Radiotrophic Gint April 30, 2024

Wooden Person

A person who is easily burnt similar to a patsy..

The target was to be dealt with for he/she had been deemed to be a wooden person!

by MKU0 February 11, 2019

Wooden the Day

Wooden the Day means having a good morning after a bad night, often a sleepless night due to alcohol consumption but parenting is also a common cause.
Woodening the day is often active, so a person strives to wooden their day by choosing to partake in positive experiences which will require little concentration and mental effort.

"The toddler wouldn't stop crying but we woodened the day with a mimosa brunch."
"Honey, can you get me an Advil? It would totally wooden the day."
"After you clean up we can head back to Barnie's. That should wooden your day."

by ShyAaaaaaaaa November 24, 2021

Wooden Board Warrior

An insufferable person, typically who posts on social media about their whole “unprocessed” foods who can’t go a second without making a video about their raw steak, veggies and honey whilst also making crazy food claims without any evidence or studies.

“These wooden board warriors are acting like anything they put on a board is healthy”

by VLTN May 12, 2024