jesus jerk off

After finishing nonutnovember and glancing at the picture of Jesus being crucified you immediately cream your jimmies. Such an event happens ounce every blue moon and is usually followed by an isis beheading.

Damn bro I had a jesus jerk off last night I was cleaning it up for hours.

by Overitus_Manhadalitus February 5, 2018

No Jerk off January

A month to purify your soul by avoiding the capital sin of lust.

- Hey dude, have you heard about No Jerk Off January?

- Yeah dude, I am already mentally preparing myself for it.

by Mr. Smarter December 30, 2018

Holy jerk off

A religious belief, in which the believer of christ furiously beats off his holy cock till they spray all there holy water for there lord and savior jesus christ. They will then pray for 10 minutes before furiously beating off till they die for there lord jesus christ.

Yo me and the boys are gonna go sacrifice ourselves for our lord with a holy jerk off you in?

by Baalo69 March 4, 2021

Jimmy Jerk-off

(Noun) A hypothetical person that you see as irrelevant who is bothering you in some way. Comes from the older version of the word "jerk", meaning an obnoxious person, but turned into a name.

Use similarly to "John Doe".

"Yo, why are you leaving 10 minutes before closing?"

"I got stuff to do, if Jimmy Jerk-Off comes in here and starts giving you shit, just tell him to fuck off."

by U735 December 11, 2021

Social Media Jerk Off

Refers to the outburst of social media updates when you meet someone new of the opposite sex who is absolutely awesome and completely changes your life. Instead of blowing a load of cum; it's a bunch of statuses and tweets.

Gina: "Holy crap, did you see all of Lincoln's statuses and tweets last night?" Rachel: "Yeah I heard they are all about Danielle" Connor: "She was so awesome he had to social media jerk off!"

by MC Lightning May 5, 2013

Jerkoffs

The plural definition for jerkoff, not to be confused with masturbation.

Dude 1: Do you see that guy over there with the other guy?
Dude 2: Yeah what about them?
Dude 1: They are a bunch of jerkoffs! They have been bullying me forever!

by beans lad April 2, 2011

wild turkey jerk off

When a guy jerks off intensely making Turkey noises and then cums on his girlfriend's back and sticks feathers to it

Me and my girlfriend might try a wild Turkey jerk off

by Kinkyp33nyborder July 8, 2015