This theory recognizes that humans are not perfect and that for every mistake in a model or schedule
there will be another "mistake" in somewhat equal scope to offset each other, hence rendering the model or budget still valid.
The idea behind is that things will anyway fall the way they fall and we cannot control for that.
The optimistic view is that this theory rejects Murphy's Law, the negligent take on it is the "Trust me, it will be OK" approach to life.
Decide where you want to be.
there will be another "mistake" in somewhat equal scope to offset each other, hence rendering the model or budget still valid.
The idea behind is that things will anyway fall the way they fall and we cannot control for that.
The optimistic view is that this theory rejects Murphy's Law, the negligent take on it is the "Trust me, it will be OK" approach to life.
Decide where you want to be.
Accountant 1: oh, crap... we forgot to add $1 million in income from product X sales to the budget
Accountant 2: oh, fudge... product Y's revenue is inflated by $980K...oh wait... based on the Theory of Offsetting Mistakes all is well, the numbers we gave the CEO are still valid, yay.
Girl: oh, crap... your condom broke
Dude: oh, fudge... you miscounted your days, your period is due today at 8pm.... you are not pregnant, yay.
Accountant 2: oh, fudge... product Y's revenue is inflated by $980K...oh wait... based on the Theory of Offsetting Mistakes all is well, the numbers we gave the CEO are still valid, yay.
Girl: oh, crap... your condom broke
Dude: oh, fudge... you miscounted your days, your period is due today at 8pm.... you are not pregnant, yay.
by Tim E Wastin August 26, 2013
Get the Theory of Offsetting Mistakes mug.Noun: The act of approaching all types of girls correlated to taking different types of basketball shots based on their perceived attractiveness and the difficulty of the shot.
Lay-up: Asking out someone who’s chopped and pretty easy to get with. “Everyone warms up with lays, apart of every players bag”
Mid-range shot (Middy): Going for someone who’s debatable if you should go for that or not but it takes some effort, but still within reach. “Every great player has to shoot some middys sometimes, keep them humble.”
3-pointer: Tryna bag someone attractive, these shots are harder to take but not out of reach, one could go in. . “3 balls are essential to add to the bag, needa be proud of the shots you take.”
Logo shot: Pursuing someone extremely attractive and out of your league. Likely won’t succeed, but worth a shot. Do not recommend but every once in a while the shot is there. ONLY FOR 10s “Chooc’s favorite shot.”
Lay-up: Asking out someone who’s chopped and pretty easy to get with. “Everyone warms up with lays, apart of every players bag”
Mid-range shot (Middy): Going for someone who’s debatable if you should go for that or not but it takes some effort, but still within reach. “Every great player has to shoot some middys sometimes, keep them humble.”
3-pointer: Tryna bag someone attractive, these shots are harder to take but not out of reach, one could go in. . “3 balls are essential to add to the bag, needa be proud of the shots you take.”
Logo shot: Pursuing someone extremely attractive and out of your league. Likely won’t succeed, but worth a shot. Do not recommend but every once in a while the shot is there. ONLY FOR 10s “Chooc’s favorite shot.”
by ChoocLovesWoman December 4, 2024
Get the Hoop Theory mug.Take road rage out on those driving company vehicles because their retaliation puts their job at risk.
Bro, I know that biker cut you off and brake checked you but remember Pack Theory. Take out your anger on that Dish van.
by SudsNDuds July 4, 2017
Get the Pack Theory mug.by zanderfin October 28, 2019
Get the pan-meta theory mug.The bean soup theory describes how people often interpret content through a self-centered lens, assuming it applies to them even when it doesn't.
A TikTok user shared a 7-bean soup recipe, prompting comments like "What if I don't like beans?" and "Can I substitute beans?" Causing a “bean soup theory”
by Monkeygirlll December 17, 2025
Get the Bean soup theory mug.like the oxford theory but instead of white men or white women its south asian men or women. a chinese girl and a indian guy would be considered kumon theory. its called kumon because of the shared trauma of kumon
by fuhmybigchuguslife November 22, 2025
Get the Kumon theory mug.The pseudoscientific belief that every catastrophic fuck-up in a man’s life can be traced back to one single, glorious nut he should’ve never busted.
A retroactive coping mechanism where dudes convince themselves that if they’d just rubbed one out before that one pivotal moment…be it a job interview, a wedding proposal, or texting “wyd” at 2 a.m.…the entire timeline would’ve stayed on the rails. The theory claims post nut clarity is so powerful it warps reality like a cum shot to the space time continuum.
A retroactive coping mechanism where dudes convince themselves that if they’d just rubbed one out before that one pivotal moment…be it a job interview, a wedding proposal, or texting “wyd” at 2 a.m.…the entire timeline would’ve stayed on the rails. The theory claims post nut clarity is so powerful it warps reality like a cum shot to the space time continuum.
Example:
“Bro, I proposed to my side chick instead of my girlfriend because I skipped my morning jerk. Classic Nutsakeum Theory…should’ve drained the lizard before popping the question.”
Alternate usage:
“According to Nutsakeum Theory, the Titanic sank because the captain hadn’t busted a fat one since Liverpool. Iceberg? More like blue balls.”
“Bro, I proposed to my side chick instead of my girlfriend because I skipped my morning jerk. Classic Nutsakeum Theory…should’ve drained the lizard before popping the question.”
Alternate usage:
“According to Nutsakeum Theory, the Titanic sank because the captain hadn’t busted a fat one since Liverpool. Iceberg? More like blue balls.”
by MinotDUIDrifter October 30, 2025
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