Noun
Synonyms: Fear, Frustration, Work Overload,
Revenge of the Nerds
Antonymns: Fun, Relax, Enjoy, Hot Chicks
Case
Western Reserve University is the most frustrating learning environment in the world. From students to the
administration to the city of Cleveland, everything is a mess.
First, lets start with the students. Socially, Case students model themselves after the South African apartheid system. The nerds band together from day one and form their own environment of anime, DDR, study parties, computer programming, and lord knows what else. Then, there are the normal people. Once in a while, a few of them will become friends and have fun at Case by not paying attention to what is going on around them. Everyone is always ugly and pissed off about classes or the weather. Nothing done by the
administration ever solves any problems because both groups want everything different. For example, normal people may want a new gym while the nerds want a new computer lounge equipped with megaplex59625 video cards and 92 ultrabytes of RAM, so the
administration responds by erecting a giant obelisk in the center of campus.
You might laugh at that, but that is seriously what the
administration does. When confronted with a problem, they come up with eleborate and costly solutions that don't work anyway. For example, students didn't like the
cafeteria food, so the
administration spent $500,000 on a new diner. However, it used the same food made in the cafeteria, only you got to pay for it this time. I once complained about the milk dispensers not working right. The week after, they painted them
black and white like cows. We are living in dorms older than Jesus, so they are building new ones. But, they are going to charge us over $2000 more per year than what we pay now which is already insane. The campus bus service has problems running on time, so they are in the process of inventing an elaborate GPS tracking system so students know where the buses are. I truly will enjoy watching the new GPS system when it shows the drivers abandoning their routes for cigarette breaks, which is the whole problem in the first place.
Oh yeah, the professors all make sure to out-do the
administration. A lot of them operate on the basis of "it was tough for me so I'm going to make it tougher for you". They want Case to be the same as Stanford and M.I.T. academically, so they all teach their graduate material to undergraduates and make life hell.
Cleveland is also the worst place on earth. The weather sucks. People from the ghetto mug students all the time. The city doesn't have a budget to fix roads, so the main bridge on campus fell down. Traffic is now a nightmare, and there is a hospital right in the middle of things. I saw an ambulance stuck in a long line of traffic the other day - I wish I had a picture of it.
To sum things up, DO NOT COME HERE.
Other amusing things that happen here:
-condoms are the last things that the vending machines run out of
-we currently have our home football and baseball games at a local high school since we have no fields
-most of the porn downloaded occurs on Friday and Saturday nights
-it takes a half hour to walk across campus at a fast pace
-I saw a Case commercial on MTV while watching Viva la Bam...can we say "media whore"?
-I'm so pissed I don't even want to go on...
This is part of a real email from
professor to his class:
"Dear class,
Hmm. Let me re-word that ...
Class:
The mid-term exam was an unmitigated disaster. It appears that not one
student got a single problem correct. In spite of my severe
disappointment,
I'll have to assume this was my fault. (
Of course, this won't keep me from
flogging you when you return!)."
