Theory of Offsetting Mistakes

This theory recognizes that humans are not perfect and that for every mistake in a model or schedule
there will be another "mistake" in somewhat equal scope to offset each other, hence rendering the model or budget still valid.
The idea behind is that things will anyway fall the way they fall and we cannot control for that.
The optimistic view is that this theory rejects Murphy's Law, the negligent take on it is the "Trust me, it will be OK" approach to life.
Decide where you want to be.

Accountant 1: oh, crap... we forgot to add $1 million in income from product X sales to the budget
Accountant 2: oh, fudge... product Y's revenue is inflated by $980K...oh wait... based on the Theory of Offsetting Mistakes all is well, the numbers we gave the CEO are still valid, yay.

Girl: oh, crap... your condom broke
Dude: oh, fudge... you miscounted your days, your period is due today at 8pm.... you are not pregnant, yay.

by Tim E Wastin August 26, 2013

Hoop Theory

Noun: The act of approaching all types of girls correlated to taking different types of basketball shots based on their perceived attractiveness and the difficulty of the shot.

Lay-up: Asking out someone who’s chopped and pretty easy to get with. “Everyone warms up with lays, apart of every players bag”

Mid-range shot (Middy): Going for someone who’s debatable if you should go for that or not but it takes some effort, but still within reach. “Every great player has to shoot some middys sometimes, keep them humble.”

3-pointer: Tryna bag someone attractive, these shots are harder to take but not out of reach, one could go in. . “3 balls are essential to add to the bag, needa be proud of the shots you take.”

Logo shot: Pursuing someone extremely attractive and out of your league. Likely won’t succeed, but worth a shot. Do not recommend but every once in a while the shot is there. ONLY FOR 10s “Chooc’s favorite shot.”

Do you practice hoop theory? If so what’s is your favorite shot to take?

by ChoocLovesWoman December 4, 2024

Godzilla Theory

When you lower your expectations so low that whatever happens can't be any worse.

The year was 1998, Godzilla hit cinemas with record low ratings. I asked all my mates to come with me with no luck. Everyone Talked shit about the movie that I went in thinking it was going to be the worst movie of all time. Came out thinking, hey that was alright.... Godzilla Theory was born. Lower your expectations and whatever it is will be good.

by Euky June 21, 2024

Dead internet theory

Yeahyeah the abstract money generator..... Yeah.... Oops 🤷 ♂️ I mean... He was talking a bunch of shit about how special and competent you have to be to make money.... You know? And I'm like the greatest mind the world has ever seen... So, like, the scholarly work is like... Really high level stuff...

Hym "Hahaha! Yeah, they're hookin up thay abstract money generator aren't they? Yeah... That's fucking hilarious. Kind of sad but, you know... In a cage... And what not... I think it has a different name though... Dead internet theory? It's like 'Something forest theory' or something, right?"

by Hym Iam May 15, 2024

l theory

The L theory is a theory created stating that anyone who’s name starts with an L is a cutie

Guy 1: Was yo girls name Lily?
Guy 2: Yes sir.
Guy 1: Damn she definitely follow the L theory

by JakeS 69 September 15, 2021

Mockery's Theory

All thins being equal, a women will choose the more evil of two options.

"That girl wanted me when I was with my ex, now she likes me as a friend. What gives?"

"Mockery's Theory, man"

by Mypseudonymisbest February 23, 2022

Lauren's Theory

The idea that any person who has the ability to sleep for an extended period of time will be interrupted by external events that cause you to have a shortened sleep schedule.

My Psych professor taught me about Lauren's Theory today, and it seems to explain why so many people don't receive 8 hours of sleep.

by Fraccy February 21, 2021