The myth, the man, the coffee-powered machine that somehow stays tired. Tony El Chong Cuey is the guy who drinks triple espressos for breakfast, and still yawns through life like he's been on a 72-hour bender in Vegas. Despite caffeine having zero effect on him, he remains loyal to coffee because it's not about the energy-it's about the grind.
El Chong Cuey is fearless... except when it comes to one thing: Kaydin Blaeser, the mysterious Polish man who lives rent-free in Tony's mind. Nobody knows what Kaydin did, but the mention of his name makes Tony sweat harder than in a sauna
Tony's lifestyle philosophy? "If you're awake, drink coffee. If you're asleep, dream about drinking coffee." A true hustler, always running on empty, but still managing Tony's lifestyle philosophy? "If you're awake, drink coffee. If you're asleep, dream about drinking coffee." A true hustler, always running on empty, but still managing to get through the day. You drink coffee to wake up, he wakes up to drink coffee.
El Chong Cuey is fearless... except when it comes to one thing: Kaydin Blaeser, the mysterious Polish man who lives rent-free in Tony's mind. Nobody knows what Kaydin did, but the mention of his name makes Tony sweat harder than in a sauna
Tony's lifestyle philosophy? "If you're awake, drink coffee. If you're asleep, dream about drinking coffee." A true hustler, always running on empty, but still managing Tony's lifestyle philosophy? "If you're awake, drink coffee. If you're asleep, dream about drinking coffee." A true hustler, always running on empty, but still managing to get through the day. You drink coffee to wake up, he wakes up to drink coffee.
Man I wish I could be more like Tony El Chong-
Dude I stayed in my bed doomscrolling for hours! I pulled a Tony El Chong Cuey
Dude I stayed in my bed doomscrolling for hours! I pulled a Tony El Chong Cuey
by Caffeine Crusher January 10, 2025
Get the Tony El Chong Cueymug. by MrsHLecter March 27, 2024
Get the Toni Lodgemug. 
A man who attempts to look stronger by standing unnaturally straight and holding their arms out to the side, making it look like they're carrying two canoes. A close relative to the try-hard.
by heyitzaj July 5, 2016
Get the Tony Two Canoesmug. If you meet an asain named Tony, you are in deep trouble. This man is like no other, not only will he fuck your girl but also your mom, sister and grandma. Asain Tony’s tend to be very intelligent, intuitive, and motivated people. They are going to be very successful in life
by Icedragon4456 November 24, 2019
Get the Tonymug. An absolute god of the essence an irl comic relief who makes dreams comes true. Should be everyone's favorite being.
by Toni Jebbings August 16, 2022
Get the Toni Jebbingsmug. A fine ass member of the incredible band Pierce The Veil. He is one of the four holy Sexicans also known as Pierce The Veil. His smile is hella cute and he plays guitar like no other motherfucker. I love him so fucking much and you should too! ;)
Person: Who is this guy playing the guitar? He looks so cool
Me: That's Tony Perry! I love him
Person: I have to check him out!
Me: That's Tony Perry! I love him
Person: I have to check him out!
by FALLOUTBOYTRASH January 28, 2018
Get the Tony Perrymug.