turtle

a smart lil sea boi! turtles r good for the environment and are very friendly!! they may walk slow but they are cute and adorable. do not hate on turtles :,)

look at that lil turtle! uwu!

by 1ly October 19, 2019

Post Turtle

A turtle balanced on top of a fence post

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 70-year-old Texas rancher (whose hand had caught in a gate while working cattle), a doctor and the old man were talking about George W. Bush being in the White House.

The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle'."

Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old man said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor stupid guy get down."

by Pinko_Commie May 6, 2004

turtle's head dick

Extremely small penis caused by excessive fat in the pubic/groin area. Penis can shrink back into the scrotum and totally disappear, like a turtle's head.

Since I've put on all this weight I've developed a turtle's head dick! Every time I look down at it the head sucks back into my scotum. Poof! Out of sight!

by talk2me-JCH2 February 24, 2021

Tattle

When someone especially someone you know tells an authority figure usually a teacher or leader of a group of kids, that you are doing something you shouldn't be doing, if what you are doing is wrong, but isn't hurting anyone else, if someone reports you, they are a tattle tale, or a snitch.

Mark: Mrs. Murphy, Tom is on his phone and he knows he shouldn't be
Tom: Why do you have to tattle?
Snitch Squealer

by TTIAR1 March 6, 2016

turtle syndrome

turtle syndrome occurs when men experience cold temperatures and their testicles and shaft shrink and move close to the groin, resembling a turtle retreating into its shell.

this water is so cold, i've got big time turtle syndrome.

by ross turner December 6, 2007

turtle wax

A term used to describe someone who waxes, or appears to wax, their pubic hair.

It's as smooth as a tortoise's shell down there - I just got me a turtle wax!

by Jazzual December 18, 2012

turtle wax

The act of ejaculating in someone's helmet while it is left unattended, then getting them to place it on their head. A practical joke particular to the military.

Joe left his helmet in the truck so I rubbed one out in it then he put it on, it was the perfect turtle wax.

by Aco FIST October 22, 2013